I Used to Live in the White House

Grown Up

2008-12-02T19:29:00.008-06:00

One of my favorite things about holidays is getting to hang out with my brother Kyle. Anytime we get to chill, especially back in Abilene, nostalgic memories of growing up fill my mind. Images rise thick of us playing ball in the driveway, laughing with friends into the early hours of the morning, watching big games and telling "mostly" true stories the way we only can.

Last week our family spent a day at that ranch where Kyle works. Much of it was just us being kids again. We drove a dune-buggie across the rugged west Texas bluffs, shot guns at a mound of dirt, and grilled over an open mesquite fire. One of the best holidays I've had in some time.

The last few years Kyle has lived far away, and our time together has dwindled. But the reason I look forward to those days is because that's when the Lord has brought real moments of clarity to me; times when He reveals to me all He is doing in and through my brother. The independent and adventuresome one in the family never ceases to amaze me at by reminding me how unique Chris manifests himself in his people. Gifts of conversation, laughter, and intention seep from Kyle's person, infecting the lives positioned next to his in subtle but powerful ways.

And behind it all is the Creator. Moving, stirring, giving life to and through my younger brother. Growing him, growing me, humbly teaching us to live like Christ.

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Love that demands a response

2008-11-19T19:35:00.004-06:00

Check out Emily's blog link on the right, where she wrote about the wildfires in CA and how they're affecting some family and friends of ours. There's also a must-read article from the LA times.

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As I stood up in front of a room full of my high school friends Monday night, I felt a heavy anxiety lifted from my shoulders and the underlying excitement and peace fill my heart. It wasn't just another club talk, but the talk I always love to give, one that I had been chewing on since April. I had the incredible opportunity to tell my friends the amazing love story; the story of how Jesus willingly died on the cross for us.

Now to some it's a story we hear every spring on Easter; but for these kids I pray this story is so much more. I pray they'll know that:

-Jesus paid for something none of us could pay for ourself.

-Our separation from God has been bridged and a relationship with Him is a reality.

-Christ went to the cross not as a "victim, but as a volunteer."

-Jesus lived out what the Bible describes as true love--a man laying down his life for his friend.

-This love is so amazing that it demands a response.

-God knew they would hear it, and he loves them more than anyone they'll ever meet.

Have I mentioned how much I love doing Young Life? Thanks for your prayers.

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What and why

2008-10-26T19:38:00.005-05:00

Here is a bit of what I shared at our Young Life Fundraising Banquet on Monday. Thanks to all our friends who came out in support.

...so here is WHAT being a leader looks like for me. I am not able to meet kids for lunch & even some of my nights are limited because of coaching, yet God faithfully opens up doors to go out & meet kids. Whether it’s the big football game on Friday night, or having breakfast with a group of guys at Taco Cabana on Saturday mornings, or playing pick-up basketball on the weekends, every opportunity is a chance for me to hang out with kids. To walk into their world instead of waiting for them to step into mine….

As you heard Emily talk about earlier, there are tons of reasons WHY we love being Young Life leaders. Maybe even too much. People joke with us and say, “Do you have any friends your own age?” or “Isn’t there something else to do on Friday night?” And while we truly do love sitting in the dunk tank at camp while our high school friends try as hard as they can to sink us, or riding on a bus for 24 hours to take our MHS kids skiing, the real reason why we love being a Young Life leader is this: years ago someone stepped into our world and shared the gospel with us & we want to do the same for kids in Arlington. I remember what my life was like before I knew Christ; and I see every day at school just how hard being a teenager is. I don’t want my high school friends to go through life without knowing the love & the freedom that Christ offers.

Paul said it best to his friends in Thessalonica: "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the Gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

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Extraordinary

2008-09-13T22:48:00.005-05:00

I think it is funny to look back on where I was several years ago and remember some of the things I wanted in life or how I hoped they would turn out. And today I can't imagine life much better. Emily. Our ministry. Our church and friends. My job and kids I work with. It's not all perfect, nor is what I expected. But I know that because of the Lord and the mysterious ways he works, it is better than I ever hoped for.

Several years back a few of my close friends and I would talk occasionally about doing something extraordinary with our lives. Most of these conversations took place while we were either traveling cross country or even overseas for a road trip or to do ministry. Our minds raced with images of missions, adventure, and the unknown. And I believe we were genuine at the time, no doubt.

But tonight, as I'm sitting on my couch here in Arlington, Texas where I live, work, and spend more time with kids half my age than peers my own, I realize something. Walking with Christ through the ordinary and simple rhythms of my days is what makes life extraordinary. I don't have to be in an exotic place with a more glamorous job to live up to those dreams. This week I have learned that being faithful and soaking up the joy of life is truly what's extraorindary.

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Not

2008-09-01T21:41:00.003-05:00

I am really not a good Christian. I'm not that good of a husband, nor do I do well when it comes to being a brother, son, or friend. I do not excel at work or on the field. I am just not.

Fortunately though, Paul reminds me that I belong to a Father "who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." He goes on to tell some friends of his that God "chose the things that are not to nullify the things that are." What a peace knowing I don't have to be complete or fixed to actually be whole. How freeing it is to live with the notion that what I lack, He is. It is such a wonder that the Almighty Creator chooses to love and walk with those who fall short, mess up, can't hack it, and get off track. Praise Christ for this truth!

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Still don't know

2008-08-16T23:27:00.004-05:00

There is something Paul wrote to his friends in Colosse that I've been wrestling with this past year. Eight simple words that have challenged me beyond comfort, frustrated the mess out of me, and above all implored me to ponder all that I am.

"Walk in wisdom to them that are without." 4:5 KJV

The ideal isn't new. In fact, it was one of the foundational principles that Young Life founder Jim Rayburn built his life and ministry upon. Rayburn wasn't into evangelism for the sake of evangelism. He believed that one should consider prayerfully those without Christ, and instead of waiting on them to walk down some aisle we should initiate relevant steps in their direction. Seeking the "wisdom" of Christ in living your life as a missionary to those next door; a relational ministry in which the Spirit of Christ working in us reveals to our friends the One who provides real life.

So as I digest these words of Paul and watch upclose those engaged on the frontlines of ministry to lost high school students, I am left with this question. What in the world does teaching the Pythagorean Theorem to junior high students or coaching kids on the ins an outs of help-side defense have to do with Paul's command in Colossians? Well, even though I still don't know, I do have a hunch.

Everything.
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Somehow...

2008-08-09T11:37:00.005-05:00

...I survived my first year of coaching and teaching. I mean I looked up one day and it was June 5th and I was locking up my classroom for the year. So crazy. The blurr of this past school year completely baffles me. Life seemed to be moving at a steady pace at the time, but it wasn't until this summer that I really slowed down enough to reflect on the year. Not just thinking about this or that, but to really chew on life and ministry and marriage and everything else.

So, I intend to process more this year. Because I think not only is doing so healthy and wise, but also reveals more depth in the simple rhythms of life. I was afforded ample time to do so this summer (our Assignment at Crooked Creek and vacation at the beach specifically), and now I feel it imperative to carve out time regularly for listening, contemplation, stillness as I begin another year of this calling. Hope that is ok.

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A few pics from our trip to Orange Beach, AL

More Pictures

2008-07-31T15:49:00.020-05:00

Visiting Kyle and JB in Jackson Hole, WY

1st Anniversary Trip to Austin

More Martin Young Life

Cleveland '08

Assignment at Crooked Creek Ranchc, CO Josh and Rosalyn's Wedding in Austin

YL Camp at Windy Gap, NC

Evidence of the Lord's faithfulness.

Sabatical Over

2008-07-23T14:18:00.014-05:00

So I took a year off from blogging. My bad. What a year though! All I can say is the Lord is good. I am looking forward to posting again this year. Here is the past 11 months in pictures:

Coaching

Luke and Jane's wedding

Martin HS Young Life

YMCA basketball

Blown out ankle playing YMCA basketball

Thanksgiving

Christmas

Ski Trip

More later.

Emily's New Blog

2007-08-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

Here's the link to Emily's new blog. Her's is much more interesting than the bore you receive here, so be sure to check it out as the school year progresses to hear all about how ministry in Arlington is going. Thanks.

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Tomorrow is my first day of school. Really excited/anxious/about-to-throw-up...that's how I'm feeling. Prayers, please. More to come...

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pic of the day:

Paul and Transition

2007-07-27T23:05:00.000-05:00

As one chapter of my life wraps up this week I have been reflecting on the life of Paul. I think he knew a thing or two about transition. Paul stayed months, even years, in one place spending his life for the sake of the gospel, before moving on to the next place of ministry. No doubt it was difficult for him to follow the Lord’s calling after pouring so much into people he loved, and was loved by. But he faithfully obliged.

Like Paul, I have been privileged to have poured out my life to an incredible group of students and families these past 5 years. And, like his ministry, the church at Grapevine has constantly loved, encouraged, challenged, and affirmed Emily and I. In the process I have learned a great deal about myself, ministry, and what it means to truly follow Christ.

So it is only appropriate at this time that I borrow some of Paul’s words from Philippians 1 to express my gratitude and love to those who've made the past 5 years so very rich:

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Thanks for the many sweet memories--I love you all deeply.

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pic of the day:

Change

2007-07-24T17:08:00.000-05:00

This is my last week at Grapevine. I first came here as a naive and immature intern in the summer of 2002, and then joined the staff in January 2005. But it is time for a change. My new job as a junior high coach and math teacher in Arlington begins in two weeks, and I am very, very excited.

It's bittersweet though. Sunday we'll say goodbye to kids and family who've done nothing but love and challenge me the past 5 years. As I pack up my office, hang out with kids, and look back on all the Lord has taught me and brought me through, I can't help but feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by his faithfulness, and affirmed in this next step. More reflections to come....

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pic of the day:

Rich in Christ Part 3: Rich Young Ruler

2007-07-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

...in Matthew 19:20 the rich young man says he has kept all the commands. Yet he still sensed something was missing. In these few words is revealed a great truth when it comes to following Christ and becoming rich in him.

This weekend we’ve talked a lot about looking for value in possessions or parties or relationships or how we look or dress. And we all know that those things leave us unsatisfied. Well here this guy, a good kid, well-rounded educated, religious kid is still lacking something. Being a good person, or going to church, or looking right on the outside, doesn’t make us rich in Christ. Those things simply cannot because Christ desires relationships, not religion.

The harshest words he spoke in scripture, the people he had the most problems with were the Pharisees, the overly religious people. The people who outwardly looked like they had it all together but who inwardly were nothing but walking tombs, empty.

In John 5:39-42 he tells people that you don’t find riches in memorizing scripture, or being smart, or looking good, or even coming to church. You can only receive true riches, true life, from ME.

That’s a hard lesson and it took me awhile to learn it--that just going to church and trying to be known as a good person still left me lacking. It wasn’t until I realized that Jesus was more concerned about me coming into a relationship with him. I tell the kids I work with in TX all the time that this world doesn’t need any more good people, or nice folks. This world needs Godly, Christ-like men and women to bring his love to people, to offer others the LIFE he has given them.

When the young man asks, "What do I still lack," Jesus' reply is this. "Go sell everything, give it all up, and come follow me. Jesus tells him to get rid of everything that keeps you from me. Quit holding on to the things that are safe and comfortable. You don’t need that stuff, it’s only going to distract you. Because if you want to be rich in me it’s going to cost you everything. All that you got.

And the really sad thing is he couldn’t let go of it. His outward unwillingness revealed the inner condition of his heart. The young man is grieved/distressed b/c he thought he was one easy step away from having it all. And I guess he was, but it was a big step. A COSTLY step.

Now here’s where I have to tell you something scary. Did you know this was the only example, the only person in scripture who we see come to Jesus and walk away empty handed. Everyone else who comes to Christ leaves different, leaves fulfilled and saved. But not this man.

I don’t know how to say this more plainly, but our STUFF gets in the way of us following Christ. Jesus said in verse 21, if you want to have treasure in heaven, if you want to truly be rich, then it’s going to cost you everything. And that’s hard for you and me to really wrap our minds around isn’t it. Because if you want to get specific, what does we it cost us to follow Christ? EVERYTHING. Friends, family, possession, comfort, time, ourselves, our desires, money, everything....

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pic of the day:

Rich in Christ Part 2: Jesus Redefines Wealth

2007-07-17T15:58:00.000-05:00

...in Luke 12, there is a rich man who tears down the barns he has (already rich) and makes plans to build bigger ones, as he prepares to be even richer. We tend to think if we can save enough, store enough, prepare enough then life will be easy. That’s what we’re looking for: to take it easy, eat, drink, and be merry.

But Jesus steps in and reminds us how foolish we are. No, no, no, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong. He flips our plans upside down and says, "Guess what, you’re going to die, and you don’t get to choose when that is. And, you don’t really have anything. It’s on loan. It’s all going to end up at a rummage sale or in a landfill, being picked over by people who you probably wouldn’t want to smell."

The longer I live the more I realize that we’re completely selfish people. Jesus isn’t telling us here to be afraid of possessions, but warning us against becoming satisfied by them.

How many of you have a cell phone? Cool. Well I’m not much older than you all, but I didn’t get my first cell phone until I was 21. I’ve got junior high kids in TX that have them and I’m like, you don’t need that. Anyways, so what normally happens. We get one, we text, we love it, then one comes out with a color screen. Ooohhh, I gotta get that one. Then a phone with a camera. Then that’s no longer cool. Then one that plays music. Then one that does your homework. Then one that drives your car, washes your dog, votes in the next election, pretty soon cell phones take over the world! Ok, not really. But do you see what I’m getting at, really what Jesus is getting at?

I think he’s pointing out to us that we’re never satisfied. We aren’t. And you know why? OPTIONS. We love options. We can go to a burger place and get nachos. Go to a Mexican food place and get burgers. Go to a Chinese place and get chicken fingers. 200 channels on TV. Don’t wanna dig through my cd’s, BAM, 6000 songs on my iPod. XM radio, more options.

We’re obsessed with having options. And the thing is, all these options are killing us. They are absolutely killing us. They cloud our lives, they trouble our hearts, bring anxiety to our souls. Like the rich man in the parable said: WHAT SHALL I DO?

And so what happens is, we can’t even enjoy what we have, because we’re always looking down the road to what is next. Next semester, next year, even next week. If only I could afford this, if only she would go out with me, if only I looked like this, if only…and our lives are empty and without depth and gratitude because of it. We can’t live in the future or waiting for what’s next b/c we miss out on the blessings of life here and now with Christ.

Anybody here ever feel like that? Feel burdened, exhausted by playing games in the world? By worrying, having anxiety bearing down on your soul?

Fortunately there’s hope, there’s an answer that Jesus gives. He tells us there is no connection between our stuff and really deep life. He knows what we need. He does and he will provide. What does he want us to do? Seek first his kingdom. Seek him first, stop being weighed down by all these options, we can rest from being burdened by anxieties, b/c He is our best option. If we pursue Christ, like a hidden treasure, if we chase after him, then not he’ll take care of the rest of this. He will.

He’s our treasure, he will satisfy our needs. He is what makes us rich. All these options, all these possessions that we store up, they’re going to end up at a rummage sale, or at the dump. They will. But Jesus beckons us to store up a purse, to seek a treasure that won’t fade away, that can’t be taken from us. He calls us to seek first His Kingdom, to pursue HIM as our treasure. And he says when we do that, not only will he provide for our needs, but our hearts will find peace and rest and abundance in him.

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pic of the day:

Rich in Christ Part I: Solomon

2007-07-12T17:05:00.000-05:00

Segment of Part 1 from a retreat I did for some super cool high school kids in east Tennessee a few months back. Enjoy.
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Solomon spent his life pursuing wealth, power, possessions, and women. Extravagant palaces, huge kingdom, 700 wives, everything to the greatest extremes--and he found it all meaningless. Quite possibly one of the riches and wealthiest guys in history, and he says it himself, “I missed it, I missed out on the real treasure.”

In Proverbs 2 Solomon shares with us what that “one thing” is we’re all looking for; he points out our treasure.

It’s the Lord, it’s a connection, an understanding of who he is and what he does for you. Scripture says God is more precious than valuable stones or anything else. Granddaddy Solomon is pleading with us to listen to his advice. There’s no value in the riches this world offers: power, possessions, prosperity.

Notice the verbs here he uses in chapter 2 to describe our quest: “accept, store up, turn, apply, call out, cry aloud, search, look for.” This idea of searching for him like silver or like a hidden treasure, it’s an unoccupied pursuit. He’s the hidden treasure, the ONE THING that is worth searching for, worth pursuing. And if anyone knows this, it’s Solomon.

There lived a great missionary/explorer in the mid 1800’s named David Livingstone. He was Scottish and very poor, but first European to see Victoria Falls and the headwaters of the Nile River. Livingstone spent his whole life telling the people of Africa about God, venturing into the deepest jungles. A man who knew well the one thing worth pursuing, he did so with everything he had, for everyone he ever met.

There’s a point in his ministry in Africa when some people back home wanted to come visit him to see the work he’s been doing and witness firsthand the amazing things he’d written about. So they sent word and asked him, “Have you found a good, smooth road to where you are?”

And David Livingstone writes back to them, “If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don't want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all.”

So I wanna close tonight with this question: what would you pursue if there was no road at all? Would it be the Lord?
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pic of the day:

The Greatest Tragedy

2007-07-03T16:52:00.000-05:00

“I am convinced the Christian faith is the most attractive and desirable option one can discover—a pearl of great wisdom. Further, Jesus Christ is the most attractive and desirable person to ever walk the face of the earth.
The greatest tragedy of all time is that His attractiveness, beauty, and grace is obscured by the cobwebs of religion.”
- John Miller, long time minister of the Gospel

These words convicted me this week in view of a world around me full of lost souls. How guilty am I of letting my “religion” too often shield hurting people from experiencing the splendor of Christ. How often have I wasted opportunities to display the wonderful love of the Savior because of a petty hang-up. How many times do I get in the way instead of stepping aside for Jesus to take center stage.

This week, as I seek to allow the attractiveness of Christ shine in my life uninhibited, I am thankful for a God who is patient with me.

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pic of the day:

Becoming Less

2007-06-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

I am a little over 6 feet tall, and yet there have been more than a few times in my life where I have felt considerably small. For instance, last week in Colorado, standing at the base of Mount Princeton gazing up at it's snowy peak, I felt tiny. Or this past Tuesday, driving by the new Cowboy's stadium in Arlington, I felt like a shrimp.

I've got a hunch though that none of these compare to how small John the Baptist felt as he stood next to the Son of God in the murky waters of the Jordan. John, a true man’s man, a guy’s guy, had to have felt like a spec of nothing as he dipped Jesus into the current and saw the Spirit descending on the much-anticipated Messiah. Later, when asked to compare his ministry with Jesus', John responds in an interesting way. When we speaks of Jesus, he simply says, “He must become greater; I must become less.”

As I consider my ministry to this broken world, these words must be taken to heart. Like John, I too need to become less. Less selfish and more concerned about the hurting and abandoned around me. Less self-reliant and more dependent on Christ and in tune with his ways. Lord, bless us all as we seek to become less.

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pic of the day:

Traveling

2007-05-26T22:53:00.000-05:00

I like to travel. Especially when it is to see Emily. In fact, I've probably traveled more in the past 18 months than I have the previous 18 years (yeah for frequent flyer miles).

Tomorrow I'm going to Colorado for a week for Emily's assignment at Frontier Ranch. It's a bittersweet deal because while I'm excited about spending a week alongside her working with the summer staff, reality will sweep in as I fly home next Saturday knowing we won't see eachother for another 3 weeks. Stinks.

However, a good friend reminded me this week how great time apart can be. What he meant by that was that even though it's tough when you're away, it makes coming home to each other that much better. You appreciate your time together even more.

With the nature of our jobs and summer schedules, being apart isn't anything new to us. And as I try my hardest to fall asleep tonight (I'm so pumped about tomorrow it might be awhile), I will whisper words of thanks to the Lord, for the faithfulness and provision he allows to abundantly fall in our life. It is going to be a memorable week.

Did I mention I don't miss my bachelor days...at all.

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pic of the day:

Too Much

2007-05-11T11:18:00.000-05:00

Too many thoughts in my head to sort through this week. So instead of a real post, here's a few scattered pieces of what's going on in our world.

We spent an unbelievable weekend back in Oak Ridge, Tennessee doing a retreat for some of our good friends there. If there's one thing East Tennesseeans have got (besides gorgeous country) it's a knack for cooking good food. It seems all we ever do when we go visit is eat, and eat well. Lucky for me, the woman I married aquired some recipes and skills during her two years there, of which I am now reaping the benefits. Everything about the retreat was great: the lake house, kids, leaders, worship, games, and program. The Lord really blessed us with a "rich" weekend (more on that to come).

I came back early Sunday for a full day of events with the GCOC, including our last SNL of the year, coupled with a youth group family cookout. We had a great night being together and celebrating all the Lord accomplished this past school year. To highlight the night were two huge egg and waterballoon toss competitions, pitting parent/student teams against one another. Who knew such a silly game could be such a hit.

This afternoon we're headed to Abilene for Hannah and Kyle's graduation. This will be the first time we've been with much of our family since the wedding so we are really looking forward to a weekend in their good company. Nothing like a May weekend in Abilene and a trip to Joe Allen's!

And lastly, I've mentioned this many times before, but again in the craziness of this week I am overwhelmed by the constant faithfulness of the Lord. His provision and presence in our lives is perfect, for he keep opening doors and leading our lives in a way that is powerful and full of hope. Oh Lord, you have been good.

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pic of the day:

Dinner Lesson

2007-04-27T14:14:00.000-05:00

Awhile back, Emily and I were invited to eat dinner with a student at his favorite restaurant. Throughout the meal, several of the wait staff and managers came up to our table to say hi and chat with this young man. You know that old theme song from Cheers, “Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name?” Well in this case they actually did—and it was obvious he had formed some neat relationships with an entire restaurant just by showing up there to eat every Wednesday night.

What made the whole experience extra special is that I got to witness one of our young men bring the light of Christ into that restaurant. And all it took was a warm smile and kind spirit, week after week. This had become a part of his rhythm of life.

There's a lot of talk in Christian circles these days about the concept of missioinal living. How humbling and yet refreshing to see it exemplified in a 12-year-old.

So I ask myself, am I carrying the love of Christ into my daily circles of life. Do the people who cut my hair, sell me groceries, change my oil, serve me food, see Christ in me? Lord, thank you for blessing my life with students who teach me how to live more like Jesus.
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pic of the day:

Why?

2007-04-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

Last night in my junior high class we discussed the Virginia Tech massacre, and I asked my kids a simple question: why? Why did this happen? What ensued was an interesting and honest conversation, and I was fascinated by some of their insights.

There's a tiny book of the Bible written by a man named Habakkuk, who's dialogue with God Almighty includes him asking God some very tough and honest questions. As you read the book you can almost here the frustration in his words as Habakkuk brings up some difficult issues to God. He knows that God is compassionate and merciful by nature, and yet he is baffled by the injustice and evil that often prevails in the world.

The very fact that Habakkuk (as well as us today in the aftermath of Monday's events) is enraged at what he sees going on around him in the world points us to the fact that there is some other standard by which we live, one higher and purer that what we currently exist in. Last night I told my kids that it is ok to feel sad and confused and even a bit angry, because God's response to Habakkuk is the same as his response to us today.

The righteous will live by faith.

We know God is not responsible for the events of Monday (I'm so tired of hearing people say, "God must have been trying to teach us a lesson.") It grieves God when He sees sin/evil (the results of humanity's rejection of Him) reeking havoc on His people.

But we must respond with faith, trusting that He is waiting to come take us home, not waiting to extend our suffering, but only so He can extend His mercy to those who don't know his Son. We must find peace in the fact that He is not slow in keeping his promises.

Lord this is a tough time, with lots of tough questions. Thank you for being with us during times like this, thank you for giving us peace even when we don't understand, thank you for giving us faith to trust in your unfailing love for this world.
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pic of the day:

(Good) Changes

2007-04-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

Married.

Loving it.

More to come...

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pic of the day:

8 days...

2007-03-09T10:48:00.000-06:00

It’s almost here.

Just a few short days until Emily and I married—until I get to be her husband. This also means only eight more days and the planning, worrying, and stressing over the wedding will come to an end. Next Saturday can’t get here soon enough.

Recently though a wise friend advised me to enjoy this next week, not just endure it. He reminded me that in the midst of all this busyness and chaos there is something beautiful taking place, something holy. Paul describes it as a great mystery.

This unique process of two becoming one is just that, a process; a path to be walked. Talking to those "veterans" of marriage, I'm told there will be ups and downs. Yet it's not necessarily about the destination, but intead the journey alongside the partner God uniquely created for man, for me. Praise Him for his perfection and faithfulness.
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pics of the day (my favorite of Em, and one for my sentimental mom):

Grapevine's J-Mac

2007-02-28T18:15:00.000-06:00

Just as good as the original J-Mac story:

Grapevine J-Mac

Enjoy.

17 days...

Swallowed in the Sea

2007-02-20T14:46:00.000-06:00

Human beings were created with purpose, not on accident. A relational God formed us with the intention that we would find true life in Him. Last week these lyrics from Coldplay's "Swallowed in the Sea" hit me in a new way. I feel like they speak truth concerning the Spirit that yearns deep inside of us:

Oh what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see

Oh the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

I love the verse in Ecclesiastes 3 that say God has set eternity in the hearts of men. There is something inside of us that longs to break out of this temporary shell. Something that cries out for a home everlasting; for intimate community with our Creator. Something that believes we belong to Him.

And we do belong with Him. We do. Not engulfed by the world; not swept through the broad gate of destruction that so many find. But created, purposed, intended to dwell with our Heavenly Father, both now and forever.
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I have decided to alternate pic of the day with a new feature, video of the day.

video of the day (thanks Heath) :
GSP Sing Song '07- Sixth in a Row

Conversion Story

2007-02-16T10:59:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been listening to Matt Chandler podcasts when I drive to and from Arlington to see Emily. The one playing late last night on my way home talked about what occurs when the "love of Christ slams into a person's soul" for the first time. I think this article is a perfect example of what happens: Born Again.
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pic of the day:

a month...

2007-02-15T13:52:00.000-06:00

When you're engaged, life is full of choices. Lately Emily and I have been faced with many: what kind of plates, towels, chargers (?), sheets, and silverware we are going to use. Which waffle maker, cheese grater, muffin pan, napkin ring, and spoon rest do we like best (I’m still trying to figure out exactly what is a napkin ring and charger). The colors for our bathroom (my vote for Mavs’ green and blue got shot down); invitations and stamps; dresses and tuxes; attendants, cakes, music, flowers…the choices never end. I mean I had no clue there was going to be 68 options for a salad fork. Fortunately for me, Emily does most of the choosing while I try to nod my head and say things like, “Whatever you want, dear.”

Life is full of choices. In Deuteronomy 30 God cuts down our options. He says we must choose between life and death, between His blessing and His curse. Pretty simple decision, right? And yet so many other “options” clutter our lives that we often fail to pursue what God desires for us.

This week I pray that we will make wise decisions. I pray that God will quiet the subtle voice of futility that Satan whispers in our ears. And I pray that we will all opt to pursue the One who is constantly pursuing us; that we will all choose life (and the right duvet cover).

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pic of the day:

36 days...

2007-02-09T12:20:00.000-06:00

A collection of random thoughts, as I sit a mere 869 hours away from marriage...
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He could not do any miracles there, excepty lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

Personally, this passage is like a spiritual punch to the gut. A question resonates in my soul: "How is my lack of faith keeping Christ's Spirit from moving and working?" Troubled by this, I wonder if my less-than-mustard seed faith is holding back our kids (as well as me) from truly experiencing the fullness found in Christ?

I get frustrated because so much of my ministry seems to stem from my own efforts or energy, without much asking (and expecting) of God. Lord help me change this; help me mature in faith; teach me to trust, to ask, and to expect.
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Wade Phillips, though lacking in flare and pizazz (probably a good thing), will be a good fit for the Cowboys. He's a proven defensive guy (which we desperately need), and, like Dungy and Lovie Smith, does things the "right" way.
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Here's an interesting quote from an AP article What Drew us to Anna Nichole by Jocelyn Noveck (notice bolded part):

"...talk show host Joy Behar...trying to put her finger on why we watched this strange woman over the years, she came up with two things: Dysfunction. And beauty. "No question, she was beautiful," said Behar, of ABC's The View. "We know people like to watch dysfunction. But beauty gives you something extra to look at. Dysfunction and beauty: Now that's something to watch.""

What a sad reflection of the brokeness of humanity; that the dysfunction of others is actually appealing to us.

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pic of the day:

44 days...

2007-02-01T12:30:00.000-06:00

February has arrived, with March 17th just lurking around the corner...

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I was humbled today as I read Luke 9:57-62 and was reminded of the cost of following Jesus:

57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." 58 Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." 59 He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." 60 Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family." 62 Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." NIV

The three encounters Luke records here all spoke a different truth into my life. Even when I willingly take the iniative to follow like the first man, I fall short in realizing the magnitude of the cost of becoming a true disciple of Christ. Jesus speaks of his own homelessness here, and beckons us to give up all the comforts of life to pursue his way.

With the second man's situation, I am reminded that even our most urgent priorities pale in comparisson to the urgency of the Kingdom. Not that burying one's father is unimportant, but we are shown that it is secondary; for essentialy if we fail to do it someone else will take care of it. However, the matters of the Kingdom will be left unattended unless we treat them with the urgency that Jesus demonstrated.

And lastly, I am really humbled by the third encounter, for it is the place I often find myself in; telling God I'm ready to go, but then making an excuse. The words of Christ are strong here, stating that those who fall prey to hesitation are not fit for service in God's Kingdom. Not fit, unworthy, useless.

Lord, forgive me for hesitating. Forgive me for living without urgency, for not considering the cost of belonging fully to you, for being useless. Help me deny myself, help me pick up my cross, and help me follow you today.

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pic of the day:

53 days...

2007-01-23T15:01:00.000-06:00

It has been awhile since I posted (my bad) and much as transpired in that time:

- An insane period of about three weeks traveling to Boerne for Christmas and Emily's birthday, then to Austin to see my family, back to Arlington, then to WinterPark for a very fun Young Life Ski Trip where I got snowed in for 2 extra days and missed being with Emily on our 1 year anniversary (she had left early to go to Phoenix for Kim's wedding), then back to Grapevine, then back to Colorado Springs that same day for the National Conference on Youth Ministry, and then finally back home. Fun times though for sure.

- Another crazy Young Life trip, this one a Polar Bear weekend to Huntsville of all places, that was almost extended by icy weather and bad roads, thus keeping me here. Emily and crew made it home safe though.

- A strange period of a week and a half where the sun failed to show its face the temperature hovered around 30. Lots of ice and a few snow days to boot.

- A weekend at Winterfest with the youth group. We saw some old friends and had a great time with my kids.

As Emily and I look ahead there is much excitement/busyness looming, as showers, retreats, family visits, YL/church events, and trips have consumed every weekend until the wedding. I'm looking forward to it all though, and sit a mere 53 days away from marriage. Absolutely can't wait.

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pic of the day, Martin Young Life Christmas Card:

Not the healthy but the sick

2006-11-10T14:51:00.000-06:00

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

Words I have breezed by numerous times before without giving more than just an "oh that's cool" sort of thought. But these words of Christ describe the very heart of this God-man and have taken on a freshness recently that was previously dormant. The Lord has placed people in close proximity to me who have taken Jesus' words to heart, who have made his mission their own.

No one really wants to work with the lost. It's much easier to spend out time with people who already know Christ (even though we have plenty of our own problems). But there aren't many folks out there just itching to sink their hands into the messy lives of lost people. Christ said it all, the workers are few.

Forunately I know a few of, well, the few. People like Emily, Matt Foster, Steve and Chrissy Holt, and Rebekah Duke, (along with others) are living out these words of Christ, investing and forming relationships with lost people. They are heros to me.

What they do is no cake walk; to them being a Christian is so much more than just going to church or reading the Bible. They are living and breathing the mission of Christ, and it is hard, often thankless work. But ask anyone of them, and they will tell you the reward is worth the cost.

I pray that God will raise up more of his children to labor in this way.
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pic of the day (from Emily):

Mom

2006-11-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

She's completely selfless. Loving. Hard working. Patient. Kind. Teaching. Prayerful. Thoughtful. Encouraging. Outgoing. Dedicated. Peaceful. Sweet. Beautiful.

My mom gives her life away everyday. To her kids at school, her family, her prayer group, her church, to everyone she meets. She spends herself for the sake of others and in the name of Christ. An incredible example of faith and service.

Happy Birthday Mom. We love you.
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pic of the day:

The Franklin Broncos

2006-11-07T14:05:00.000-06:00

When I opened up the home page for the Abilene Reporter-News the following story was starring me in the face. And what did I do, being the sap that I am...I teared up.

Now I will be the first to say that I wasn't particularly fond of my middle school years. It was an awkward time for most, and I was no exception. But there is a special place in my heart for Franklin Middle School, home of the Broncos. And as I read through the article and saw the picture of Coach Black with those players, I couldn't help but feel sentimental.

There are so many memories from that place, and I as I recall old teachers, coaches, classmates, and the like, one emotion stands out. I am truly thankful. Thankful for people like Coach Black, Coach Schoonmaker, Coach Carrol, and Coach Raughton who gave me a chance and some direction on the athletic fields. Thankful for Mrs. Embry, Mr. Spruell, and Mrs. Foster for dedication and inspiration in the classroom. Thankful for patient people putting up with an awkward and often times obnoxious middle schooler, and helping shape my future.

So as they they play the school's last football game ever today, I can still remember pretty vividly my last football game at Franklin, verses Sneezy Beltran and Mann Middle School for the city championship. We pulled off the upset that day, and I can only hope the same for my Broncos today.

Man, I am such a sap...
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pic of the day, my middle school boys on our retreat:

2 Meals

2006-10-24T21:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I sat at a table full of friends, devoured some good barbecue, and caught up on each other's lives. We gathered to listen to passionate people speak of God's Kingdom and were inspired by their desire to reach lost kids in Arlington. The testimonies given and generosity displayed were humbling to say the least. What an incredible night for Young Life and for all those who attended. Did I mention we had barbecue??

Today I had lunch with a encouraging peer. What was supposed to be a brief hi and bye meal turned into a two-hour "wow-Lord-you're-amazing" kinda thing. What began as our usual Cowboys talk suddenly took on the form of two ordinary guys sharing their hearts for people and how to reach them with the love of Christ, dreaming of what could be in our own community of faith.

Two meals (Spring Creek and Quizno's). Two holy experiences.

Matt Chandler says there is something very very holy about doing dinner with people. There truly is something remarkable and intimate about feasting with friends who sharpen you just with their presence. I thoroughly enjoy sharing extended meals with friends and the conversations that ensue over fajitas and sweat tea. It should come as no surprise that the earliest Christian community shared a table together on a regular, almost daily basis. Meal time=good time. Meal time=Christ time. Thank you Lord for blessing my life with barbecue, friends, and the work of your Holy Spirit.
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pic of the day (from Emily):

Yes

2006-10-18T16:07:00.000-05:00

Below are words I shared for part of Cayce and Matt's wedding ceremony:
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I found it very appropriate that Madison escorted Cayce down the aisle. How humbling was it to watch "their little team" walk into this moment today. For about the last 8 years, that is what they have been, a team. Cayce and Madison have walked a tough, tough road, one that we hope few will ever have to tread. And they have done so together, just the two of them. Until today.

I want to read a few words from that Paul that seem fitting, both for the peace they have provided in the past, and for the truth they hold today.

"But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not 'Yes' and 'No.' For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not 'Yes' and 'No,' but in him it has always been a 'Yes.' For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ."
1 Corinthians 1:18-20a

Paul tells us that regardless of circumstance or situation, with Christ, everything is a "Yes."

Matt, we want you to know that you are the "Yes" our family has prayed for for a long time. I stand here today with out one shred of doubt, confident that you are the result of a faithful God, truly an answer to prayer.

Thank you for loving Cayce so well, and especially loving Madison enough to be be her dad. You make them both so happy, and our family could not be happier for you. We love you.
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pic of the day:

The Thorton's

2006-10-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

Pics from Cayce and Matty's wedding last weekend at Common Ford's Ranch in Austin.

Mom and Aunt Dana at Rehersal Dinner

(Nutty Brown Cafe in Dripping Springs) Emily and I

Common Ford's Ranch

Reception

Cake

Siblings and Sibling-in-laws

Pretty girl, pretty place

Kyle and Jessica

Waiting with Madison

Sweet Madison

The Thorton's leaving

Proposal Pictures

2006-10-05T14:32:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures, finally.

Our special place at Love Field

Table

She said yes

The Williams' men inspection

Smiling

I like this one

Our families

I'm having problems getting two more pics up here. I'll try later.

March 17th...here we come!

BIG Day!

2006-09-18T11:33:00.000-05:00

I asked Emily to marry me Saturday night. She said yes! If you would like to hear the whole story give us a call. In the mean time here are a few pics from that night. March 17th here we come!

(ok blogger is being wierd so no pictures right now. I'll keep trying)

(still not working)

BIG Game

2006-09-08T11:29:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow night all of America turns its eyes toward Austin for a match up of college gridiron greats. Last year the meeting of UT and Ohio State in Columbus' famed Horse Shoe not only lived up to the hype, it exceeded it. Hopefully this year will not disappoint. #1 vs. #2...here I come.

Be sure to look for Austin and I (sorry Cass) on TV. We'll be holding a sign behind the Corso and the Gameday crew that reads: "Joel Weckerly's Hero is a Criminal."
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pic of the day:

Hard Work

2006-08-24T14:28:00.000-05:00

Nearly everyday this week I have been reminded just how difficult it is to be a part of the body of Christ. What I mean is that it doesn't simply happen. Just because a group of Christians attends the same worship services or lives in the same area doesn't mean they are fully living as the body of Christ. Community doesn't occur with proximity or similar interests; it isn't all rainbows and sunshine and hallelujah; being the body of Christ, living that out, is hard work. And we have to be willing to work hard to experience the results Christ intended for his church.

Developing community takes concerted effort, mounds of patience, and a commitment to prayer. A community of Christ-like folks must be aware of the subtle, and not so subtle, attacks Satan blasts at us. Together we must fend off the temptations to be lazy or self-serving. We must train ourselves to be deeply concerned for our neighbors. We must re-learn how to interact with all different kinds of people, keeping in mind that the Spirit of Christ lives in us.

Sadly I myself am far from much of this. I often find myself more wrapped up in my own stuff than seeking to shoulder the weight that is crushing those around me. Being a part of Christ' body is hard work, no doubt. But at the same time there is a richness, a fullness, about it that you can't find in any other kind of community. Lord give us the strength and desire to be the body Christ died for us to be.
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pictures are back up on blogger so I also updated the last 3 posts.
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pic of the day:

"he was showing us God"

2006-08-21T12:04:00.000-05:00

more Rob Bell as I try to get pictures back on here:

"Over time when you purposely try to live the way of Jesus, you start noticing something deeper going on. You begin realizing the reason this is the best way to live is that it is rooted in profound truths about how the world is. You find yourself living more and more in tuen with ultimate reality. You are more and more in sync with how the universe is at its deepest levels.

Jesus' intention was, and is, to call people to live in tune with reality. He said at one point that if you had seen him, you had 'seen the Father.' He claimed to be showing us what God is like. In his compassion, peace, truth telling, and generosity, he was showing us God."
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pic of the day:

An endless process

2006-08-18T16:50:00.000-05:00

Really good stuff from Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis:

"For thousands of years followers of Jesus, like artists, have understood that we have to keep going, exploring what it means to live in harmony with God each other. The Christian faith tradition is filled with change and growth and transformation. Jesus took part in this process by calling people to rethink faith and the Bible and hope and love and everything else, and by inviting them into the endless process of working out how to live as God created us to live.

The challenge for Christians then is to live with great passion and conviction, remaining open and flexible, aware that this life is not the last painting.

Times change. God doesn't, but times do. We learn and grow, and the world around us shifts, and the Christian faith is only alive when it is listening, morphing, innovating, letting go of whatever has gotten in the way of Jesus and embracing whatever will help us be more and more the people God wants us to be."
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pic of the day:

Monday Nights

2006-08-15T13:54:00.000-05:00

Every Monday I was in town this summer we had a college-age Bible study in the tiny living room of my house. Who knew how much fun cramming 15 bodies into (maybe) 100 square feet of space with little A/C could be?? And yes, sweating can be fun.

But in all seriousness this small gathering of believers possessed a richness and depth that far exceeded my initial aspirations for the group. Our task was simple really, and something I shared with them the first week: to fall more in love with Christ. Our method was two fold: first, sharing openly experiences from our week in which we saw his life take flesh, instances where we witnessed a need for Jesus' presence and power. And second, we dove into the Word in search of portraits of Jesus' life, snapshots detailing his heart and his character, the way he responded to people and certain situations. We were looking for anything and everything that might enable us to know Christ more intimately. And oh how the Lord revealed himself to us in new ways! It should come as no surprise that he is always surpassing even our highest hopes.

Beneath this seemingly ordinary "Bible study" lies a reason, maybe you could even call it a desire, that I shared both with my youth group and these college students often this summer. And it stems from the Nouwen quote I shared a month or so back. I told them that this world doesn't need any more really nice people, that there are enough sweet girls and good guys out there. What this world needs more than anything is Godly men and women who intimately know the heart of God, who embody the Spirit of Christ, and are passionatetly and consistently living this out in their world.

Lord help us know you better and more fully. Help us smell, speak, react, pray, and live like Christ so this world might know him.
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pic of the day:

"Help me overcome my unbelief"

2006-08-09T09:42:00.000-05:00

Everyone has faith. Life, at any level, cannot be lived without it. The real question, according to Rob Bell in his book Velvet Elvis, isn't whether we have it or not but what we have put our faith in. And if everyone has faith then it is probaly safe to conclude that everyone also struggles with doubt, and that these conflicting ideas are in constant tension with one another.

Last week at Emily's Campaigner's group they talked about the story of Jesus healing the epileptic boy. So Monday night a group of college students and I dove further into this remarkable incident from Mark 9. The statement made by the boy's father toward Christ is a fascinating one. When Jesus tells him that anything is possible for he who believes we see this desperate father cry out, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Somewhere inside this man was hope, but that flicker of hope was nearly extinguished by a great amount of what he calls unbelief.

Lately I have realized just how much unbelief there is in my own life; how often I let those droplets of doubt that Satan whispers in my ear affect my ministry and my relationships. The example of this boy's father acknowledging before Christ that though he does believe he needs major help overcoming his unbelief is a powerful one. The truth and honesty in his words is a great demonstration of the stance I have been reminded to take as I approach the feet of my Lord.

Father I beg you to help me overcome the unbelief that plagues so many aspects of my life. Would you silence Satan's lies and defend me from his attacks. I pray you would strengthen my faith, build up my ability and desire to trust you. Thank you Father
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pic of the day, one of my kids on our Jr/Sr Trip:

She's here

2006-08-07T11:12:00.000-05:00

No longer 852 miles away, Emily has finally arrived in Arlington! In her words...praise, the Lord.

She's only been here a little over a week but we have already been soaking up time with one another and racking up the miles on Highway 360. Sometimes I still cannot believe that she lives here, that we don't have to say goodbye at an airport next week like we have too many times before. But we don't, because Emily lives here, close to me, and I am absolutely beside myself.

It has been such a blessing to be with her and experience so much of what you miss out on when you date long distance for 7 months. Hanging out with our Dallas friends, going to campaigners with her, watching her interact with the kids in her ministry, having her next to me at church, spending lazy Saturday afternoons together, running errands, just listening to her talk face to face instead of through a cell phone--it is all just so great, so refreshing, so much fun.

One of the best parts is knowing that this is only the beginning of a new and exciting season of life, for both of us. Thank you Father...for everything.
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pic of the day:

Ouray

2006-08-02T10:35:00.000-05:00

I am still exhausted from Trek (and this crazy summer) but wanted to share a few pics and reflect.

The mountains have always been a special place for God's people, a place of instruction and listening, a place of prayer filled with his presence, a place of rest and retreat. And that is exactly what last week was for me. Save a trip to the ER with kidney stones, it was a perfect week highlighted by cool weather, lots of rain, special moments with my kids, and refreshing time and conversation with solid peers. Thank you Lord for providing in perfect ways.

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Chad, me and Mt. Ouray

Micah and Heath

Payton and J Scott, our bearded guidesFC Ouray
the group

From rules to something beyond

2006-07-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

yesterday Garret and I were talking about the difference between Christianity that is all about morality and "being good" verses Christianity that is centered on Christ and his love and letting that love become a reality in our lives. then last night I just happened to read this passage by C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity:

"I think all Christians would agree with me if I said that though Christianity seems at the first to be all about morality, all about duties and rules and guilt and virtue, yet it leads you on, our of all that, into something beyond. One has a glimpse of a country where they do not talk of those things, except perhaps as a joke. Every one there is filled full with what we should call goodness as a mirror is filled with light. But they do not call it goodness. They do not call it anything. They are not thinking of it. They are too busy looking at the source from which it comes. But this is near the stage where the road passes over the rim of our world. No one's eyes can see very far beyond that: lots of people's eyes can see further than mine."

We see plenty of examples in the ministry of Christ where the so-called religious and upright people of the day completely missed the point, failed to see the big picture. When Christ healed the lame man at the pool in Bethesda the Jews were ticked because it was on the Sabbath. Later Jesus gives sight to a man born blind and the Pharisees spend a whole chapter arguing with the man, hung up on the Sabbath issue again.

For much of my life I too am guilty of this, caught up in outward appearances, rules and guilt, instead of focusing on the healing Christ has brought to the my life and the people around me. I've missed the source for too many years, been too worried about meaningless details and the petty perceptions of my peers. Meanwhile oblivious the countless instances of Jesus' power intersecting with the world's pain all around me.

Things have begun to shift for me, and for many others, in the way I view this world, my faith, and Christianity as a whole. More about Christ, less about appearance; more like Jesus, less like this fleshly shell. Help us Lord become more like your Son.
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headed to Colorado for Trek (and cool mountain weather!) tomorrow. keep our travel and our kids in your prayers please. thanks.
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pic of the day:

Ambassadors for Christ

2006-07-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the long breaks in between blogs. I look forward to getting back to posting regularly soon.

Here's a segment of a sermon I preached two weeks ago at Grapevine in Lyle's absence. My thoughts were taken out of 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:5:

Paul makes a beautiful comparison here between earthly things and heavenly things; between the temporary and the eternal. However his words hit me hard, because if I asked a show of hands of how many in this room want to go to heaven, without a doubt every hand would be raised. But if I asked you for an honest answer to the question how many of you want to go right this very moment…how many of us, myself included, would hesitate, because we got something "really important" to take care of first.

Scripture tells us that God has place eternity in the hearts of man, that He himself dwells in the temple of our hearts,. And yet it seems to me that we’ve put Jesus on air mattress and shoved him in the back guest room, like we do that cousin at Christmas who annoys us. We push him aside instead of ushering him to the front door of our lives and, recognizing that this world is just temporary, a tent we live in. Anyone ever went camping before. I don’t care who you are living in a tent is fun for like a day, maybe a weekend, but after that you want to go home. You want indoor plumbing and air conditioning. Paul says that should be our attitude with the world we are living in, though so many of our lives don’t reflect that.

He pleads with us not to focus on all the junk and possessions and worries that crowd our lives. He says as an ambassador we groan, not out of complaint, but out of an eager expectation, for our future home. We should be longing for heaven, craving the glory of an eternal dwelling. When God created Adam and Eve he created them to live in a perfect place of paradise, in Eden. Now sin messed all that up, but it is important we understand that too is where we were created to live and we should be hungry and yearning to get there, back to the constant presence of God. An ambassador carries this lifestyle, this mindset with them wherever they go, for all to see.

When you view this world as temporary, when you fix your eyes on the unseen, everything else starts to fade into the margins and the world can’t help but notice a difference about you. And we get so focused, almost obsessed, with heaven that we make it our life’s work to bring everyone we can along to their true home. We invite them to join in the triumphal procession that Christ is leading us in.
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pic of the day:

Photo Recap

2006-07-06T17:01:00.000-05:00

some photos from the last 30 days, 24 of which I was away from Grapevine (check out my facebook albums for more pics).

Brent and Linds' Rehersal Dinner

The guys at the wedding

Braving the tropical storm in Florida with our nifty panchos

Mickey!

Emily and I at Epcot

The slip n' slide at camp Zenith

GCOC kids at Zenith

waterball laceration from Camp MPulse...middle school kids are ruthless...

Grapevine kids at MPulse

Em and I on the swing at Windy Gap

Beautiful Camp Windy Gap in Weaverville, NC

a quick breath in the midst of beautiful chaos that is summer

2006-06-23T19:01:00.000-05:00

since June 8:

- the mavs blew it:(
- the rangers are blowing it :(
- weekend trip to houston for the couchman wedding
- great time with great friends and especially great b/c I got to experience the whole thing with Emily at my side
- flew to florida, braved a tropical storm
- vacationed with Em and her family for a week...one of the best weeks ever
- conquered Disney World and the lazy river at our hotel
- saw Weck
- took 25 high school students to camp in Oklahoma
- ripped my new shirt on the giant slip and slide :(
- ate cafeteria food all week...not good
- witnessed kids come to Christ and see him in new ways
- so tired it hurts to type
- loved every minute of it
- headed for abilene sunday for middle school camp...fill me up Lord...I need you

blessings to all today

Big Day (and Day 13)

2006-06-08T09:39:00.000-05:00

Tonight the NBA finals begin in Dallas. There is definitely a buzz around town like nothing I have "Nowitnessed" before. Miami is a very talented and well coached team so this should be a great series.

Tonight we leave for Brent and Linds' wedding weekend so we'll have to listen to the game on the radio. But that is a sacrifice well worth making considering how special this weekend will be. It will be great to see all of the friends there, and I am especially pumped because Emily gets to come (thanks to the extreme generosity of a gracious family here at church)! Can't wait to be surrounded by people I love and celebrate the start of Brent and Linds' life together.

I'm going to be gone the next 3 and 1/2 weeks (vacation, HS camp, MS camp, visit Emily at camp) so I will post when I can. Until then enjoy these final thoughts from Ukraine. Blessings to all...
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journal entry from May 8:

The sun came up around five and I with it. She stayed out all day long and provided a beautiful day to close our time here in Easter Europe.

Showered and then caught the metro over to the church building. Took a taxi to St. Andrew's descent one last time and strolled through the streets. Went to dinner at a cool cafe near our hotel and had a terrific caesar salad and beer-battered chicken. Walked home and sat on the balcony for a bit at dusk, praying for Emily and her Senior Club tonight, as well as for this whole experience, the work here and all the people we encountered, especially those dear to me. Chatted and prayed with the group and headed off to bed.

Sometimes I have caught myself daydreaming on this trip, the whole experience feeling so surreal, like a dream or a movie. But in reality it has been rich and rewarding, a time of basking in God's presence and overwhelmed by his faithfulness and the vastness of his kingdom. I've seen things I never dreamed I would, talked with people I never expected to see again, witnessed all that is gloomy and sad in this cruel world and been reminded in the next moment of the penetrating love of God that is infecting people everywhere. This world is definitely not out home, we were created for another and I long to be there and to see all these people there too.

Until then though I suppose I'm ready to be back "home", to talk to Emily and my family; to see Chad and all the kids; to watch the Mavs and sleep in my bed; to minister better, to love harder than I have before. Lord take us home safely. And thank you, for everything. Amen.
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pic of the day, Holocaust memorial:

Day 12

2006-06-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

journal entry from May 7:

Woke up early and showered before everyone else on this rainy morning and got ready for our time of worship. Sat inside the apartment with the balcony windows open letting in the cool breeze and smell of rain. Shared communion together and took some time to reflect on the experiences of the past weeks. I had scheduled a meeting with Uliana and Olga this evening, two friends whom we met at Camp Smena in 2004. Both were two of the very few counselors that spoke English, so our connection with them came naturally. They befriended several from our team that summer and I wish the rest of our group (Brent, Austin, Cass, Brandon, Erika, Rosalyn, Mize, Ashley, Micah) could be here to see them and hang out too.

Not gonna lie, I was sort of anxious about meeting them, unsure if they would had changed, but when they found me in front of Krishadek Metro Station they were exactly as I remembered. It was so crazy that I saw them and spent an evening hanging out--very surreal, like something you think could happen but probably never will. Well it did and I praise God becuase of it...

I'm not sure how far we walked but that is basically all we did for most of our 6 hour adventure, stopping only for pictures and ice cream, all the while talking like friends who needed to catch up. I was excited to tell them about Emily and our story and they were very happy for us (and I pray that somehow they might meet Emily someday because they would get along great). Spent a lot of time filling them in on everyone else's life and they told me all that had marked the past two years for them: graduating, job changes, heartaches, and how different life had become. From what I could tell it seems like the 3 of us had been in similar places, fresh out of college with big dreams yet so much uncertainty of tomorrow or even how to live each day. I suppose the same is true of this interesting season of life I'm in for people everywhere, regardless of culture or language.

Uliana and Olga really are two of kind--smart and funny girls with tons of personality and ability--the kind that make for great friends. And I realized that's what they are; though us Americans only knew them a few weeks and hadn't seen them in two years, they are really great friends, quality individuals.

It is still bizzare that I am seeing and talking to people who crossed my path a few years back and for such a short period of time, yet left such a lasting impression. Our God is a purposeful God, one with a perfect will and the master of time. I can only believe that he led me back here for something, perhaps not for me though, possibly for the sake of others. And though I am not exactly sure the what or the who or the when or even the how, I do know the why--to show my love to him by loving others the way Christ does; to lift up the name of our Lord; to live and experience the entirety of his faithfulness. And boy did I ever today...
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pic of the day:

Day 11

2006-06-01T15:02:00.000-05:00

Two more of these and then back to the regular blogging. Thanks for your patience and for reading...
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journal entry from May 6:

We rolled back into Kiev around 8am and Rick and Ivan picked us up. The train station is like an antique straight out of a movie; people rushing around, loud speakers blaring a crackled Russian voice; vendors making the most of the capitalist system; beggars begging, false beggars screaming at you; avoiding eye contact with pushy taxi drivers and turning them away with a strong "Niet!"; buses and cars galore all moving their own direction...I love it!

Our apartment is on the 9th floor of a building downtown with a spectacular view of the city, a walk away from Independence Square and may other cool spots, gorgeous really. Around noon we hit the streets to see the sights and shop. Made our way over to St. Andrew's Descent, a tiny coble stone street more than a mile long that winds down a steep hill, tents and vendors marking the trail, every square inch taken up by "souvenirs" and junk...

We took the metro to dinner--what an adventure that was. It is super cheap and the deepest subway system in the world (it took 100 yard long escalator rides to get down to it!). Sort of confusing with all the signs being in Russian and people bustling everywhere, but fun nonetheless. Had dinner with Jim and Marina Noyes and their son Andre at a really cool Ukrainian place built like a tree house in this quiet park. The food was the best I've had, Caesar salad, bread with garlic butter, and chicken and bacon shyshlik (k-bobs) that were to die for.

Marina used to work with WWYC and has tons of camp experience in Ukraine, so we had a great conversation about the camp work going on here, casting vision and gathering specific details of Christian camps and Pioneer camps. I'm starting to realize just how big this whole camp thing is, what resources are available and needed, as well as the fact that these are 2 separate entities that need fresh leadership, oversight, and investment to really take off. Again I'm reminded how much I love camps here--I pray that somehow the Lord might use me for them in the future.

Walked home full and tired. Pat got really sick tonight and I slept on a cot in the living room, dead tired...
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pic of the day, Metro Station (sorry it's dark, still figuring out my camera):

Day 9

2006-05-30T11:53:00.000-05:00

Mavs, Mavs, Mavs...big game tonight
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journal entry from May 4:

"There some people brought to [Jesus] a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man. After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man's ears. He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, 'Be opened!' At this the man's ears were opened, his tongue loosened and he began to speak plainly." Mark 7:32-35

Another day of victory and demonstration of the Lord's faithfulness. As a gentle rain fell on Theodosia we headed to the School for Children with Internal Disorders (gastro-intestinal problems and spinal disorders). After touring their facilities we determined they have a great need for new beds--the current ones are awful, probably 30 years old and not fit for children who are already suffer enough. So Ruth is organizing a bed drive when we return to Grapevine (note: she just concluded this and raised money for more than 80 beds!). We gave the kids ice cream, a special treat for them, and I enjoyed visiting with them for a few minutes in my limited Russian. Wish we could've stayed longer--they were precious and upbeat and fun to talk to.

Our next stop was the School for the Deaf, a suprisingly happy place. The children there put on a Ukrainian dance show for us that was impressive, especially considering most of them couldn't hear the music they were dancing in perfect rhythm to (reminiscent of the evening programs at Camp Smena and Young Builder). The kids were all so friendly and I enjoyed visiting with them and watching them play volleyball later. The highlight though had to be watching two young teenage girls get fitted with their new hearing aides. One of the girls had never been able to hear her entire life, so we had an extra powerful and strong hearing aide built for her. As it was turned on for the first time we watched as her eyes got real big, her face almost pale. She signed to her friend, "I can hear..."

We witnessed a young girl gain her hearing for the first time in her life, we witnessed a beautiful miracle...and I can't even grasp how huge that is. All I can picture is an image of Christ with his hands gently placed in her ears, wearing a soft smile on his face as he says, "Be opened." Unbelievable.

Tonight we ate dinner with a couple of the preachers we support, Igor and Vitaly and their families, two very good, God-fearing men. It was my honor to pray for them, humbling really. As I approached the throne of our Creator I was struck with overwhelming evidence of the power of the Gospel, and how in all languages and all lands it does the same thing...change lives and claim souls. Very sweet...
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pic of the day, miracle girl is 2nd from left:

Day 8

2006-05-24T10:28:00.000-05:00

"How about the Mavericks?" --Avery Johnson after game 7
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journal exert from May 3:

"And now brothers, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy, and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own they urgently pleaded with us for the priveledge of sharing in this service to the saints."
2 Corinthians 8:1-4

There really aren't adequate words to describe the experiences of today, so I borrowed these from Paul, words that were fulfilled, words on a page that came alive, had breath and personality and faces...

To be honest at first I didn't think much of this excursion to another old run-down Soviet-age apartment building, where we gathered in a cramped room to drink hot tea and meet with 11 Christians. But oh how much great is God's kingdom that I can fathom! The tiny apartment was owned by Natasha or "Mother Teresa" as she is aptly dubbed. The oldest member a 90 year old babushka named Marina who never misses a worship service or meeting; the youngest Curio, 14, son of Anatoly, taxi driver/mechanic; when we asked Curio about his mother he said, "she's not a Christian...But she will be."

All of us crowded around a small table to visit and share stories of God's work, stories that stunned me. The faith of these 11 simple people absolutely floored me--they talked of having nothing, working 2 or 3 jobs just to pay rent and have money left over to buy Bibles for the orphanages, told stories of being beat up and threatened at work b/c of the Gospel, even fired. And yet they had a joy about them that was so evident; they spoke like true laborers, dedicated disciples so focused, so committed to spreading the Gospel that they had forgotten all about themselves, their extreme poverty, their needs. I can't begin to explain what our time there was like, looking and listening to faithful servants who weren't just being good but following the way of Christ, spending themselves, fulfilling God's Word, living as the very people Paul described in 2 Corinthians 8. Amazing, inspiring, humbling, beautiful.

Oh Lord, to have even an ounce of faith like I saw today, just a drop of their zeal and commitment. Empty me Father, help me realize my complete weakness and dependence on you. Help me chase after you with everything, to be focused on my ministry, to follow the incredible example of these Christians. Thank you for this trip, these opportunities, of which I am not worthy to be a part of. Somehow I pray that you might transform this worthless, selfish being of mine into the image of Christ, a giving and genuine, faithful and loving servant. Father search my heart and lead; take away all my worries...and teach me to trust you with a faith like Christ.
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pic of the day:

Day 7

2006-05-22T12:28:00.000-05:00

Hopefully I'm not boring anyone to death with these. Thanks for reading

exert from May 2:

...before we got on the train last night Michael (my roommate and preacher in training) invited me to pray with him. As he prayed for me I began to cry, his words so genuine, full of love and truth, begging God to reveal heaven to my heart, to set my life upon that...he prayed for Emily, for our relationship and future...he labored in prayer for me, and I don't know why but I just lost it. I have known Michael for only a few days and can't remember a prayer so penetrating and fervent. I have been incredibly blessed to spend time with him, humbled by his faith and vulnerability, his desire to please God and his example of openly wrestling with his Creator...

...began our day in Theodosia with a wonderful breakfast at the City orphanage. Met several rooms full of children with beautiful smiles, so precious. The girls had short hair after a lice breakout but that didn't prevent them from loving life. Helen and Eugene have an incredible ministry with these kids...you should see how the kids light up when they walk into a room. Our next stop was the village orphanage for kids with mental disorders. Unbelievably hard to swallow being in this place, but great to see the dedicated teachers and care-givers who love them so well. Some kids here had severe mental handicaps, some severely abused, and some completely healthy, their residence here a result of their parent's disregard for them. A hard place to visit but I pray I won't forget these faces.

Witnessed sad things today, evidences of life's injustice, but also witnessed God's hand at work in it all; his kingdom growing from a mustard seed. That's all we are after all, tiny seeds of broken lives and specks of faith, seeking a place to plant roots and grow into a strong tree, whose branches and fruit can be helpful to all. It's hard for me to walk away from orphans, especially living half way around the world with my car, house, and nice things while they suffer--how do I justify leaving? What more can we do? Is $ enough? How can I pray for them better? Praise be to our God who cares immensely for them and who has put people in their lives who do so as well. He has them in his hand and I pray he continues to hold them there....
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pic of the day:

(long) Day 4

2006-05-17T15:51:00.000-05:00

journal exert from April 29th:

My roommate for most of the trip is Mike, 35 from Moscow, training to be a preacher, with an incredible story to tell. Don told me to try to be an example to him and encourage him—what?? I walked away from our very first extended conversation impressed and strengthened by his faith, a man with a heart like God’s. I don’t know what it is but being around Christians outside the US is very encouraging, their example so incredible, b/c Christ is truly their life and more precious to them than anything…the way God intended us to be…sometimes I feel really far off from this.

We made the rounds to a couple of orphanages we sponsor this morning. One an AIDS orphanage and the other a children’s hospital type. Met with both of their directors and talked extensively about possibly doing a camp for their sick children, what all that would entail. I’m beginning to see one of my key purposes on this trip is to think, pray, promote, and be exposed to all the different camp work here in Ukraine. Just talking and reflecting on possible camp stuff has reminded me of my love and passion for this sort of thing—I’m anxious to see what other conversations and opportunities the Lord has for me on this trip.

Didn’t get to see one group of AIDS children b/c of a quarantine, but the kiddos at the children’s hospital were precious. Went into one particular nursery area and saw a few of the babies. Ruth held a little girl with thick fear in her eyes, abused badly by both parents, cute as ever though…she smile at Ruth when she left. I played with and smiled at a little girl who was very quiet b/c of numerous mental health problems that they haven’t completely diagnosed yet, but extremely sweet with a beautiful smile. As our faces moved inches away from eachother I prayed that somehow she might know the great love of Christ in her life. We ended up purchasing some blankets, toys, pots and pans for the hospital.

Tonight I went and met up with old friends/translators from Camp Smena, Arusik and Arthur! Went to their apartment and ate dinner and cake for Arusik’s birthday and visited for an hour or so. They told me all about Smena last summer and it brought back tons of funny memories of how much she exaggerates. Really made me miss Smena and Sergey and the great camp there. Had a good talk with Steve Talifero about his ministry in Ukraine with orphans and his dream to set up a ministry center and transitional housing program for street kids. He’s a good man and I pray that the Lord will bless his efforts here and provide the wife and partner he longs to share his ministry with. Took a shady taxi home.

A good day, good conversations, and unexpected visits and surprises. I feel the Lord affirming me being here and hopefully using me here—his calling for me in this place is evident, though I’m not sure in what capacity or when or how. While I have no desire to live here it is clear that I love this country, especially it’s children. Don noted last night that it’s nearly impossible to reach the current generation of men, hardened by oppression and a socialist upbringing (church statistics prove this). Therefore we must focus on the next generation, the kids and teenagers. So I pray that his great and awesome love might reach them and that he might see me fit for assisting in that in some small way…
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pic of the day:

Day 2

2006-05-15T16:01:00.000-05:00

journal entry from April 27th, my dad's birthday:

...delayed is the theme of this trip thus far...45 minutes to start in Dallas, 4 hours in Atlanta, missed our flight in Paris, redirected through Milan (flew over the Alps though...amazing), and finally arrived in Kiev at 3:30 in the a.m. They lost all of our luggage, but that's not a huge deal, more comical than anything and a fitting end to our journey to get here.

It's a weird feeling being back in Kiev, but there's something familiar about it too, very nostalgic and eary, yet something that strangely puts me at ease. I feel a comfort around these people, listening to their language, driving through their streets, brushing past a sea of pedestrians on crowded sidewalks; their clothes (or lack there of), the stilletos, hairstyles, the odd smells...I know it's weird but for some reason I enjoy it, I really do.

Father I pray for rest tonight and energy for tomorrow and the next 12 days. Empty me of myself, my negative attitudes, and fill me with your Spirit, one of peace and compassion, one to listen, love and hope. Thank you for reminding me today that my "home" is with you in heaven....Be with our group and give us patience and understanding, unite us in our love for you and our purpose here. And watch over everyone back home...
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pic of the day, airport in Paris:

Back in the USSR

2006-05-11T14:59:00.000-05:00

actually I'm back in Texas after two amazing weeks in Ukraine. thanks for all of your prayers.

In the coming weeks I will be sharing stories along with some of my journal entries from the trip. Until then here's a few pics...blessings.
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with Don, our fearless leader

little Lana and Anya, daughter and wife of Eugene, a missionary we support

boys at the orphanage for kids with mental disorders eating ice cream

Ukrainian dance performance by kids at School for the Deaf

precious girls at the orphanage for kids with internal disorders

a bay on the Black Sea

Prayers please

2006-04-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

Had a great retreat this weekend...thanks for your prayers.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Ukraine for two weeks. There are six people from church going and we will be visiting/encouraging the missionaries and orphanages we support there. I'll also spend a considerable amount of time initiating some new camp work in the Crimea, where we went a few summers ago. There are so many different emotions and feelings running through me right now that I can barely sort through them all. It is hard to believe that I am getting to return to a place I love and have longed to visit again (though I doubted I would) and that I'm going to see some friends we made at Smena who I had never expected to see again. So crazy.

In still hasn't settled in that I'm going back, but nonetheless I am pumped about this opportunity and looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us. Please keep us in your prayers--thanks.
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pic of the day, from Mize:

Are you in love with Jesus?

2006-04-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

I first read Henri Nouwen's In the Name of Jesus for a class Church Leadership my junior year (taught by Eddie Sharp and one of my favorite classes I took at ACU, though I know Austin wouldn't agree, sorry bud). Since that time I have tried to reread the short book every year to sort of draw me back to the heart of God. Nouwen is such a gifted writer with a knack for putting deep truths, often concerning spiritual formation and ministry, in the simplest of terms. If you've never read Nouwen I would highly recommend diving into this book (you can pretty much read the whole thing in an hour or two). Here's an exert I reread today that is just beautiful:

This rejected, unknown, wounded Jesus simply asked, "Do you love me, do you really love me?" He whose only concern had been to announce the unconditional love of God had only one question to ask, "Do you love me?"

The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show some results? But: Are you in love with Jesus? Perhaps another way of putting the question would be: Do you know the incarnate God? In our world of loneliness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women who know the heart of God, a heart that forgives, cares, reaches out and wants to heal. In that heart there is no suspicion, no vindictiveness, no resentment, and not a tinge of hatred. It is a heart that wants only to give love and receive love in response. It is a heart that suffers immensely because it sees the magnitude of human pain and the great resistance to trusting the heart of God who wants to offer consolation and hope.

The Christian leader of the future is one who truly knows the heart of God as it has become flesh, "a heart of flesh," in Jesus. Knowing God's heart means consistently, radically, and very concretely to announce and reveal that God is love and only love, and that every time fear, isolation, or despair begins to invade the human soul, this is not something that comes from God. This sounds very simple and trite, but very people know they are loved without any condition or limits.
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Headed to Oklahoma tomorrow for our Spring Retreat. The whole weekend is centered around the theme LOST and we're really excited to see what God does. Please keep us in your prayers.
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pic of the day:

Happy Easter

2006-04-18T16:36:00.000-05:00

Blogger is killing me. I posted twice last week about Passion week and it wouldn't publish them. Oh well, hopefully this one will work.
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Here are some pictures from a truly great weekend in Boerne:

The Kids (and dogs)

Eggs

Austin killed a snake

Dinner on the Riverwalk (before the Lion King)

Bunny Time

Easter with Emily

Little Decisions

2006-04-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

Interesting thought to chew on today from C.S. Lewis:

Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparent trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.

I had to read this a few times before I felt I understood some of what he was talking about. The little things in life do matter, our choices, thoughts, and words all have lasting implications, for the good of the kingdom or for the Deceiver's advantage. Forming good habits, finding joy in the everyday "tasks," dying to ourselves and following God's will--these will enable us to achieve great victories down the road.
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Three great wins by the Mavs in the past week. If we can keep it up over the last five games (and get Devin and Adrian back healthy) then who knows what the playoffs may bring.

Wish I could say the same for the boys of Arlington. C'mon Rangers...
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pic of the day:

Learning to listen...again

2006-04-05T15:28:00.000-05:00

People who don’t listen frustrate me. And when it is Christians who don’t listen, to other Christians as well as non-Christians, that really frustrates me (and for the record I would like to first say that I fall into both of these categories way too often). But I've been thinking lately, how can we truly give love to people if we don’t first give them a chance? How is the world supposed to see Christ in us when we write people off before we take the time to hear who they are and what they need? There seems to be a strong connection between listening and loving.

I think fear is largely behind many circumstances where we (myself included) don’t listen to people. It seems sometimes that Christians are afraid of even listening to other people share their beliefs, regardless of what those might be. But what do we have to be afraid of?? Listening, seeking to understand people, is not a sin but is something Jesus demonstrated and prioritized in his ministry. It is more than okay to have meaningful, honest conversation with people who hold different beliefs and views than us—I say it is imperative. I think a lot of people are afraid of being proven wrong or maybe don’t like to argue (which I/ve never been one for conflict). But we should always hold up the good news of Christ and use the Gospel lense to look into our world and the claims being made.

People long to be loved—to receive love at different levels and in various forms. There are several ways of communicating and sharing love to others, assorted love languages if you will (there ya go Linds King). But unless we listen to people and look deep into their hearts then we are incapable of effectively loving them in the fullness of the Spirit. We can say we love and even do things that show them love, but they will never fully know and experience the penetrating love that can reach the darkest corners of their lives, erasing fear and uncertainty from within. We must listen, listen, and listen some more, in order to love better, love purer, love more completely. Lord forgive me for not listening and for being close-minded. Help me listen with the ears and a heart like Jesus'.
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pic of the day:

"Our glory and joy"

2006-04-03T15:53:00.000-05:00

Everyone has tough days, the kind that frustrate you to no end. In a life of ministry these days seem to be more frequent than I would like. There are all sorts of things that Satan tosses in front of me to get me discouraged: church politics, my own impatience and inexperience, flat out persecution, kids who you can't engage no matter how hard you pursue them, yada yada yada.

Just when I get ready to lose it though the Lord with out fail sends a refreshing cue into my life. And most of the time it is my kids who fill this role. My kids are the ones who keep me going, who remind me why I'm here and how fortunate I am. Their energy and innocence refuels me when I am running on empty. The look in their eyes, one of hunger in the midst of their search for something real, something pure, is what pushes me to give them more of myself. They have a way of making things right and not "too serious." I love them and am forever thankful for their presence in my life.

As I pray for them today, these words of Paul seem to perfectly fit my feelings toward them: For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy. 1 Thess. 3:19
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pic of the day:

Not Much

2006-03-31T16:21:00.000-06:00

Not much time on a Friday afternoon to dive in too deep so I'll keep it light.

- I love spring time and being outside, especially in the evenings. Lately when I get home from work I've started exploring my neighborhood on my bike (if you saw where I lived you'd know how fun this is). On Tuesday here is what I came across on my post-work trek... That's right...a freakin' circus. Random, huh? I think a church near by was hosting it or something but I found it to be a cool, nostalgic (and sort of creepy) place to look around. Didn't see any freaks, just these sweet elephants... - This is going to be a great week in sports: you start out with the Final Four, move right into opening week for baseball, some key NBA games (including Mavs/Spurs finale), and wrap up with the Master's next weekend. Oops...forgot to mention the basketball intramural regional tourney over at TCU...good luck guys....

- Final Four picks: I want UCLA over Florida in the title game Monday.

- I killed two scary bugs in my apartment this week...for those who know me that's big news.

- Not sure if I mentioned this yet but I found out I'm going to Ukraine for 13 days at the end of April. More on that later...
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pic of the day, from Mize:

Nets

2006-03-27T15:15:00.000-06:00

Four teams cut down the nets in their respective regions this past weekend. For quality reading on the tournament and the upsets see Austin's blog. I will say it is a pretty cool thing watching college kids ascend a ladder to snip a piece of nylon, especially the George Mason guys...a thrill I'm sure.

I read the story of Jesus calling Peter, James, and John from Luke 5 the other day. Jesus told them to let down their nets for a catch. Here were professionals who had been sweating all night trying to catch something...anything, yet they heeded his advice. And the results...well, astonishing. Jesus proceeds to promise them that "from now on you will catch men." Even more impressive than their Forest Gump-esque catch is to consider the "catch" these 3 men alone made in their future ministry(with Peter and John's words still impacting people today). Thousands upon thousands of lives changed from what started out as an act of faith by simple fishermen.

It got me thinking about my response to the Lord's call in my life. When I'm burned out, tired, and empty-handed, do I still pursue the beckoning of Christ? Are my nets yielding a catch for his kingdom, one that astonishes and can't be explained? Am I willing to, in faith, put myself out into the deep waters of life, where people are hungry and hurting? Father teach me to fish like Jesus did. Even when it is hard or may not make sense, I pray that I will answer the call of Christ. May my nets overflow with people who need to know and be know by you.
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pic of the day:

Everything's Right Tonight

2006-03-21T09:29:00.000-06:00

my lack of posts lately hasn't been from lack of meaningful activity. I'm just can't seem to find the words to describe the events of the past week. instead of many words. perhaps one word will do for a few highlights.

- humbling. That is the only way to describe our two and a half days working with Central Dallas Ministries last week. Met some incredibly Jesus/Kingdom-minded servants like Patti, Eric, and Rachel who have dedicated their lives to building true community on the east side of Dallas. And got to see our kids be the hands and feet of Christ as they provided a face lift for a building, took some tiny tots to the Dallas zoo, and stocked groceries in the food pantry. There is nothing like witnessing our students faith grow as they serve wholeheartedly in uncomfortable situations.

- relaxing. Escaped to Austin for a few days to be with people I love. Stayed with Austin, Cassie and Gracie, hung out with Rosalyn, Heather, Marcos, Camille, Jenn and Erika, and spent time Cayce and Madison and Matty. Sort of had a cold while I was there, but got to watch lots of basketball. Have I mentioned how much I love the first weekend of the tournament.

- refreshing. The Lord always knows when I'm in a rut or feeling discouraged in ministry, because it is at those moments when he gives me refreshing and rewarding times with our kids. some of my favorite moments with them are the unexpected and real conversations we have where they're honest and even vulnerable with me, or when they speak deep truth into my life through an unassuming comment. Those are the times I cherish and cling to, the times that fire me up and keep me going.
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pic of the day:

"Loved Much"

2006-03-15T16:21:00.000-06:00

Once a month our youth group takes its turn to lead the afternoon worship service at Autumn Leaves Nursing Home. This has become a highly anticipated and extremely rewarding activity for us to take part in together. The joy it brings to sing and visit with those sweet souls is scarcely matched by other things in our regular routines.

This past Sunday as we had finished our service and were preparing to head out I sat next to an older gentlemen whom I remembered from our last couple of times there. I thanked him for letting us worship with him and asked how he was doing. His answer floored me.

Before he was able to mutter a word, his eyes just filled with tears, like deep pools of emotion. Squeezing my hand he whispered, “Son, it means so much to me for ya’ll to come here…thank you.” A grown man stirred to tears by the faith and service of young people. I almost lost it.

I’m sure similar stories of blessing could be shared every week by the numerous groups from our congregation who serve at Autumn Leaves. This particular one, however, evoked images of a woman wiping the feet of Jesus with her tears. Jesus in fact made an example of her faith, noting that she “loved much” (Luke 7:47). I would be willing to bet that not a person present in that room on that night walked away unaffected by what they witnessed—a beautiful, selfless act of worship.

Last Sunday I too witnessed something beautiful. And thought it may have come from an unexpected source, my heart was truly touched by a man who “loved much.” This week may we all take the time to notice the extraordinary faith of those around us. Father stir in our hearts so that we too may love and serve people like Jesus did.
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pic of the day:

J Mac

2006-03-09T15:26:00.000-06:00

I'm sure everyone has seen this story by now, but in case you haven't here's a link with a cool video narration of Jason McElwain's story. Autistic Hoop Dreams

Even if you have seen it check it out again. After watching like 100 times I still get chills.

There is a lot I could say about Jason's story. But really it speaks for itself.

It did remind me of something I read recently. That last picture of Jason with the crowd storming the court, lifting him onto their shoulders was very touching. I mean an entire school (and now a country) celebrating the story of an autistic kid siezing the moment, making the most of his shot. Can you imagine how cool it would have been to be in that gym that night??

In Nehemiah 8 we read the story of God's people "celebrating with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them." Here are God's people, foolish and stubborn for numerous generations, and they finally "get it." So what do they do--they celebrate for 7 straight days. I'm not talking birthday party here--they truly celebrated, in a way that had never been seen before the word says, and their "joy was very great." Pretty stinkin cool huh? Seeing Jason's magical night and reading this story makes me want to be a part of a celebration like that. And I feel if I would just look around me and open my eyes to all the icredible things God is doing for his kingdom, then I can't help but join in his celebration.

Father give us your great joy as we celebrate your constant faithfulness in our lives.
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pic of the day, family (minus Kyle...sorry):

Abundance

2006-03-07T15:42:00.000-06:00

click on "Foster" on the right side of the page to read his reflections on silence...great stuff.
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Somedays are sort of hard...then the Spirit leads you to words that comfort, words that remind you to live with joy and urgency. Yesterday these were those words for me:

"Praise our God...he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you O God tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance." Psalm 66:8-12

Being refined and reformed into the image of Christ isn't always easy and can be painful at times; treading through fire or darkness isn't pleasant; yet I'm comforted knowing that the Lord has promised to bring us to a place of abuncance. A place in abundance of Him and his mercy; a place lacking in worry and fear.

O Lord would you bring us all to that place each day.
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pic of the day (from Mize), frisbee:

Building...

2006-03-03T12:41:00.000-06:00

I live in a small one bedroom "shire" behind a family from church's house. Currently an addition is being built on to their house, so each morning I wake up to the serene sounds of nail guns and cement trucks...a fabulous way to start my day. For some reason this morning, with the steady echo of lumber being fastened together in the background, my thoughts went back to a something Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each does its work."

The beauty of these words leaps off the page at me. Unity is not an ideal; it is Christ's intention for his body, the fullfillment of the Word, and something Paul wouldn't have spoken so passionately and often about if he didn't think it to be possible. For he truly believed God's children could live in and experience this accord by way of his abundant grace.

I can't remember where I heard this, but I'm sick of [certain sects of] Christians thinking we have a monopoly on truth (the "we've got it right" mentality). I'm tired of witnessing instances of Christians elevating themselves above other groups...groups of other Christians for crying out loud. Where's the unity in that? What kind of message are we sending our culture and communities? A message of pure and penetrating love, powerful grace? Honestly, I dunno guys.... When I read that people in North America are leaving churches at an astonishing rate, something tells me our message has become fuzzy, that we're sending mixed signals, that what we say and how we live don't match up. Is that how we want the world to perceive the body of Christ??

I asked our students Monday night how people who bear the name of Christ are supposed to have unity when we spend more of our time debating/arguing/pondering issues that divide instead of focusing on the matters which brought us to Christ in the firstplace. Their answers were honest and genuine, yet spoken with "truth in love." I desperately long for them to live in unity, to put aside their scholastic and social loyalties and pledge their allegience and their life to the way of Jesus. If this was the pursuit of all Christians, what a different and wonderful place would we live in.

Father, help me to know and speak your truth with love, and to mature daily in that love alongside the people you've placed in my life.
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pic of the day, where I live:

The First Line on the First Page

2006-02-27T15:26:00.000-06:00

All I can say is wow...so good...

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In the beginning God...

The first recorded phrase of the Bible; four little words, huge implications. Before there was anything...God was. When it all started God was there, speaking it into existense. There's something about these four little words that stirs in me; a mysterious mixture of apprehension and peace invade my soul when I read them though I can scarcely understand the sheer weight and complexity of all that these four words carry. (Humbling side note: if I am unable to grasp the first four what makes me think I would have any luck with the following inspired truths?)

My senior year I studied the Pentateuch in short course (David Wallace=great teacher) and fell in love with Genesis 1 and 2, probably two of my favorite chapters in scripture. There is something cool yet humbling about the beginning of it all, ya know. No drawn out scientific explanation--just God. I love the balance between the magnitude of his creative ability and his personal care for his creation. Our God is freaking ginormous, yet willing to initmately breath life into man. That is truly amazing.

There are numerous times when I come back to these words, ones that are impossible to explain or fully comprehend. Last night, in the middle of the concert strangely enough, I was again taken back to the beginning, where there was no worry, no schedule, no decisions, just God. Lord take me back there, bring me into your presence. Remove everything else from my life so that I can experience you in all your holiness.
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pic of the day (I've got Ukraine on the brain today, so this makes me happy):

Fog

2006-02-24T16:49:00.000-06:00

Did you see that movie The Fog? Good, me neither. But nevertheless I sure felt like I was on the set earlier this week.

I spent the earlier part of this week in A-town interviewing interns and attending some Lectures (more on that later). My plan was to drive back early Wednesday morning but when I awoke I was met with an unexpected surprise. A thick blanket of fog enveloped the landscape around me, thinning only in rare patches and diminishing visibility to less than 100 yards in every direction. I could not remember a haze so dense. Now one would expect the fog to clear as the day progressed, yet it never did. The whole trip from west Texas to Grapevine it seemed like I was driving alone, a few yards of pavement ahead and behind me were all I could see.

There are times (many in fact since I graduated) when this is how I have felt spiritually. Isolated, unable to see where I am or what lies ahead; and quite frankly, like driving through fog, it can be a fairly unnerving feeling, even frightening at times. And to be honest it sort of makes my stomach hurt.

Yet I’m comforted by the words of the Hebrew writer, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.” God has paved a great path before us, one that is meant to be traveled by way of faith. Through uncertainty and concern, may we all seek the discipline to fasten our gaze upon our Savior and trust him as he leads us through the fog.
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pic of the day:

Frogger

2006-02-23T14:16:00.000-06:00

The key to GSP's "Drive for Five" had nothing to do with hardwork, practice, or talent, and everything to do with me and my good fortune (just kidding guys--ya'll were great).

I ate dinner at El Fenix (not the chain, the real one in Abilene) on Saturday night before the show with some friends. Just as we were leaving my attention was drawn to the indoor fountain...which just happened to be surrounded by several small frog statues. I mean what are the odds, right?

As I posed for the photo below and pondered this obvious divine sign, I thought to myself "this is the night of the frogs." And indeed it was...
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pic of the day:

I like chicken

2006-02-16T16:40:00.000-06:00

see picture below...

Monday night at Bible study we talked about love, being it the day before Valentine's and all. As I have stated here before the past several months have seen me basically obsessing over the idea of love as it fits with faith, Christianity, and people. There were so many things I wanted my kids to hear that night about love but had no idea where to begin or which direction to head. So, I invited them to read and really listen to the greatest love story ever told, tthe story that is God's Word. We spent the majority of our time soaking up and taking in his truth, ya know, just allowing it to settle into our hearts and minds. Here's one of my favorite passages we absorbed that night:

...if I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, now matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love... --Paul, The Message
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Off to Abilene tomorrow, for what should be a great time of family and friends, sing song and intern interviews. Please keep us in your prayers...thanks.
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pic of the day:

Belated Valentine

2006-02-15T15:16:00.000-06:00

I read this on Mike Cope's blog yesterday and wanted to share part of it here. Deep words to ponder from Henri Nouwen, from The Inner Voice of Love:

Giving yourself to others without expecting anything in return is only possible when you have been fully received. Every time you discover that you expect something in return for what you have given or are disappointed when nothing comes back to you, you are being made aware that you yourself are not yet fully received. Only when you know yourself as unconditionally loved--that is, fully received--by God can you give gratuitously. Giving without wanting anything in return is trusting that all your needs will be provided for by the One who loves you unconditionally. It is trusting that you do not need to protect your own security but can give yourself completely to the service of others.

The idea of giving yourself to others is what Jesus embodied completely. You can read more of it here http://mikecope.blogspot.com/2006/02/happy-valentines-day-my-dear.html
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pic of the day, random graduation pic (notice how excited Clay, Brent, Dave and me are):

Cinderella

2006-02-14T15:41:00.000-06:00

It has always been my favorite for some reason. As much as I love watching baseball at all levels, the Mavs, and college football...nothing quite does it for me like college basketball. Now that football season has come to a quiet end America turns most (save the Olympics, some NBA action, and pitchers and catchers reporting) of its attention to the NCAA.

To me college basketball is the purest form of sport (though early draft entries have begun to taint it slightly) with the best playoff system hands down. In fact if I could only see one major sporting event in my lifetime it would easily be a Final Four. How can you not love March Madness? I love watching the teams from no-name colleges slug it out with big guns like UConn and Kentucky and the smaller programs hoping Cinderella's slipper fits them best. Buzzer-beaters and upsets become instant March classics as ordinary kids like Laetner and Carmello etch their name into history as they're converted into household names.
For some reason growing up I can still recall watching almost every NCAA championship game going back to 1990 (the Runnin Rebel's title). And while my first love belongs to Coach K and the Blue Devils, I still have a ton of respect and appreciation for the college game and the masterminds who man the benches, men like Lute, Tubby, Bruce, and Roy. They, along with countless others, have done so much to promote this great game and raise it up to the high level it has reached today.

As teams make their push for the tournament, here's to what should be an exciting 2 months.
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Does anyone remember those mini basketballs that Pizza Hut used to sell every year during March Madness with all the Final Four teams on them? They definitely need to bring those back...
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pic of the day:

The General

2006-02-07T15:14:00.000-06:00

Most nights Avery Johnson can be found pacing up and down the Maverick's sideline, firing up his players and screaming at officials. However 2 nights ago I got a chance to see him light a fire under someone else's butt.

The Little General spoke at Students Standing Strong, a monthly gathering of Christian students at Grapevine and Colleyville high schools. I went with some of my kids to the event and had a good time. Now I'm not saying Avery should quit his day job (especially with this impressive 12 game win streak)...but the brotha' can really bring it--for reals! He spoke with passion and conviction, and it was great to see several students give their lives to Christ at the end of the evening. Praise God.

One particular thing Avery said stuck with me. He told us that he always tells his players not to listen to anyone but him. Ya know...to shut out the media, forget what the critics say. He said, "Everything starts with a thought." In order for them to be champions in June, they have to start believing him now when he tells them they are champions.

There are so many people each day vying for our attention, trying to transplant their messages in our heads and our hearts. Companies, salesmen, politicians, friends, neighbors...some with input of value while others are worthless. Satan is the worst of all though, always feeding us lies, whispering uncertainty into our ears. No wonder so many people (myself included) struggle with insecurity. Sometimes it feels like I'm hooked up to an IV of doubt. I think if even the smallest inclination of negative thoughts (like Avery talked about) gets into our minds it can keep us from truly experiencing something wonderful and we will miss out on the fullness we long for, the satisfaction God wants to give us. Lord help us to block out everything that hinders us from knowing you, and drink deeply from your truth.
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pic of the day:

Short but Sweet

2006-02-06T15:30:00.000-06:00

A wise man once said: stop.

He said, stop asking God to bless what you're doing.

Get involved in what God is doing - because it's already blessed.

--from Bono's speech at the National Prayer Breakfast in D.C.

Lord, help me to stop with my own agenda, to get out of the way, and to join you in the breaking in of your Kingdom.
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Thanks for your prayers this weekend. I had an amazing time with Emily!
pic of the day:

Oh How I Wish Dallas Was in Tennessee

2006-02-01T15:29:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen that movie "Life is Beautiful?" I actually never did because that Benigni guy really freaked me out at the Oscars that year...but I heard it was a good film. Anyways, I kind of see myself as a life-is-beautiful-sorta-guy; someone who's an idealist(?) maybe; someone who desperately wants to view this world as wonderful regardless of personal circumstances.

Maybe that's why C.S. Lewis' words on free will in "Mere Christianity" touched my heart: Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing worth having that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having....The happiness which God designs for his higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free.

What a beautiful description of our Heavenly Father and the way he designed us, giving us the liberty to join Him in something that brings true joy and happiness to our lives, a relationship with Him. If it was forced on us then Christianity and Jesus and love wouldn't be the same at all. But he didn't force it...he freed us to love and allowed us to experience the love of Christ. How comforting (and even overwhelming) is it to know that faith and the Christian story isn't just some accident. Paul says in Galatians "I want you to know brothers that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up" (1:11). The Supreme Being in the universe has orchestrated something big, beautiful, life-changing, and he has invited us to be a part of it. It's not just some old tale that a dude way back when thought up...it is divine and eternal. Thank you Lord for freeing us and for making life extraordinary.
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And now...I'm off to Tennessee!!! Please keep us in your prayers this weekend--thanks.
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pic of the day, my cousin Carly and me at Winterfest

Mark's "Gospel"

2006-01-30T15:47:00.000-06:00

My life has been steadily hectic the past 10 days thus I have neglected posting here. Never planned on being an everyday blogger (or almost) like Austin but I do intend to share more frequently than I have, mainly because it provides an avenue to process all the notions and thoughts stuck in my head. With that being said...

Yesterday for class I taught out of Mark 1:21-28 and how God's power can infect our lives and spread like an epidemic, for this is where Jesus' ministry explodes into the world. Lately it seems I just can't get enough of Mark--his style of telling Jesus' story is unique, as are all the gospels, and surprisingly simple, yet anything but bland. His composition is distinct and decided: bypassing the birth narrative he spends more than half of his gospel illustrating the people-focused ministry of Christ (healings, miracles, transformations, etc). Then in the middle of chapter 8 "Jesus begins to teach" the disciples and doesn't stop until after he is arrested. To top it off the last third of Mark's book records the final of week of Christ's life on earth. Amazing author, even more amazing story.
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One of our junior guys, Mark, preached yesterday on Youth Sunday a great and genuine message on living for Jesus now. He spoke candidly about his own experiences in the past month that have woken him up from a life of pressing that spiritual snooze bar. I was so proud of the courage he showed yesterday and really felt that he touched a lot of hearts in our church, maybe to their suprise. (There's probably nothing I love more than seeing our kids sell out for Jesus)Mark may not be the best speech writer, and he doesn't claim to be a guy who has it all together. But with boldness he too shared good news yesterday; he spoke truth into the lives of God's people, some who may have been 70 years his elder. With humility he proclaimed what Christ is doing in his life as he shared part of his story. And when his story intersects with God's story it makes for something extraordinary that is anything but bland. It was quite beautiful, to watch another "Mark" write yet another chapter in the rich love story that is Jesus.
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pic of the day, tough guys:

My apologies...

2006-01-20T11:16:00.000-06:00

...for a less than acceptable blogging week. just a few quick things:

--If you read this pray for our kids this weekend as we take 53 (!) of them to Winterfest. Pray that the Lord will stir in their hearts and draw them closer to him, that it will be a weekend of great spiritual victories. Thanks.

--I've never made NFL picks before, pubicly at least, but I'm going to go with the Steelers and (gulp, Dave) Panthers. I think that is who will win but I really hope I'm wrong. Really.

--Pretty sure that former ACU All Star DJ Bulls was a caller on ESPN radio this morning. Random, huh?

--It's a beautiful day!
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pic of the day, two of my favorite people:

When in Rome

2006-01-18T15:26:00.000-06:00

I've got nothing today of my own, not to say that the Lord hasn't shown me anything this week, but I'm tired and can't really think very well. So I'll share the thoughts of other people:

--Everyone HAS to click on "Foster" under my links on the right side of the page. Read his most recent post dedicated to a great American hero, Chuck Norris. It is laugh till you cry funny. Read it...or else.

--"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Jesus said it and I like it.

--"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Don't know who said it but I like it.
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pic of the day, the outhouse at my aunt and uncle's farm:

Forgiveness

2006-01-13T12:21:00.000-06:00

You may have scene it on the news, an image that has stayed fresh in my mind all week: former Cowboys football player Dwayne Goodrich tearfully embracing a man he nearly killed, Shuki Josef, in a Dallas courtroom and sobbing uncontrollably.

The story behind this emotional scene is complicated. Goodrich struck and killed two young men with his car who were helping pull a man from a burning vehicle on a Dallas highway. Josef was hit too but somehow survived, though multiple injuries cause him to hobble in horrible pain everyday. At the sentence hearing Monday instead of responding to Goodrich with anger or vengeance Josef provided us all a great lesson. He limped over to the man responsible for his life-altering injuries and said, “I forgive you.” At this Goodrich could no longer hold back his emotions, and the tears mixed with regret began to flow.

Josef’s incredible example of forgiveness, reminiscent of Stephen in Acts 7, is one of the purest I’ve ever witnessed. Yet it pales in comparison to the forgiveness Christ brings into our lives. We’ve all got complicated stories that are deserving of a harsh sentence, but it is a punishment we won’t receive. Jesus responds the same way Josef did, bestowing rich mercy wrapped in a warm embrace. Not only does he pardon us but he hands down a verdict of “not guilty,” something even Josef was incapable of. And true comfort and peace are found only when we accept this gift from our Savior. I pray this week we will all take hold of Him and know, be it even with tears, that regardless of our crime we are completely forgiven.
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pic of the day, Wolf Creek:

The Thompsons

2006-01-11T11:21:00.000-06:00

They've been in ministry for 10 years impacting hundreds, if not thousands, of young people for the Lord. They make no excuses for always being themselves while answering the call God has placed in their lives. Dedicated, creative, a well of love and kindness, funny, full of energy, passionate...just a few of the ways I can describe Chad and Sheri. We "work" together you see. But really we do life together--loving kids, seeking the Lord, trips, counseling sessions, all nighters, casting visions, and laughing (plenty of that).

They have had such an influence on shaping who I'm becoming and my ministry. Their friendship has been invaluable, especially through this past year of transition and uncertainty. They've taught me a vast amount in these past 4 years and have truly been my "Paul." I'm pretty sure I could write a book on all the adventures and stories we've shared...but would definitely have to censor it! I couldn't ask for a better model of ministry and marriage than the two of them provide. Thanks guys...I love ya'll.
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pic of the day, Chad in Mexico:

Just the Beginning

2006-01-09T15:30:00.000-06:00

I ran across this great quote from Mack Brown the day after the game:

I don't want this to be the biggest thing that ever happens in the their lives. It may be the best sporting event in your life, and for some of them it will be for sure. But I want this to help them carry confidence later in life.

I love to hear stuff like that from college coaches who aren't just preparing young people for football or basketball games, but for life. That's why I've always looked up to Coach K, a man who has dedicated and focused his life and his program to producing quality human beings, not the next NBA has-been.

There's something refreshing about Mack's words here to these kids and it's very bold. In essence he is telling them that this is only the beginning. That one day hopefully they'll walk across a stage and recieve a degree. Or perhaps they will be lucky enough to walk down the aisle with the woman of their dreams. And maybe somewhere down the line they will hold their new born daughter in their arms. You know, stuff you dream about but still have no idea exactly how it will feel.

Of course he wants them to enjoy this moment, but at the same time they need to be looking for the next great moment. One that more than likely won't happen on a football field. As I processed all of this I found myself, well, somewhat inspired by his words. I know it's cheesy but I think there's some truth there. Plus it's exciting to think about.
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I finally got my new camera from Christmas (hooray!), so I decided to take a picture of a sweet sign that Kyle got me:

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

2006-01-05T16:43:00.000-06:00

The image of Vince Young standing before the crowd in a sea of confetti lulled me to sleep last night (though I was so wired I didn't hit the sack until like 3am). Absolutely beautiful. There are so many amazing stories and feelings to sort through today that I've decided to post on the greatest football game I've ever seen next time so to allow time for proper reflection.

However, I feel this has to brought into the light. No one is talking about this and it must be said. I am strongly conVINCEd that what might have put UT over the top last night was knowing that Tommy Lee Jones and his Oscar-snubbed film "Man of the House" (an absolute masterpiece) released last year is what really began this run of destiny for the Horns.

I don't know why this important connection hasn't popped up on more radar screens. It's so obvious people--don't deny it.

Munich

2006-01-04T12:18:00.000-06:00

I went and saw Spielberg's latest film Munich Sunday night. though it was very graphic (and 3 hours long) I still thought it was a good movie.

one issue that stands out from the story is the ongoing hatred that exists between Israelis and Palestinians, something that continues today. it's sad when you think about it, two groups of humans living in constant strife, believing that the other group is awful and they are better. and the scary thing is that this train of thought is prevalent all across the globe today. and honestly it is not as far away as we might like to think. this same sort of hatred and division occurrs in our communities and (gasp) our churches every week. Donald Miller explains it this way:

I suppose believing we were right and they were wrong gave me a feeling of superiority over my Methodist friends. It all sounds so innocent until you realize whatever evil thing it was that caused me to believe Baptists [or any denomination/religious group] are better than Methodists is the same evil thing that has Jews killing Palestinians rather than talking to them, and for that matter, Palestinians killing Jews rather than engaging in an important conversation about land and history and peace.

I like the perspective Miller brings to the table. lately I've been convicted of my own feelings of elitism. for a long time I've noticed these underlying almost inherited views of superiority and righteousness displayed in our social groups, our denominations, our races, our fill in the blank. from this we tend to climb upon our pedastools to look down and point our fingers at those who are wrong. and as much as this hurts to admit I am so guilty of this and am really tired of it. for when I read the story of Jesus I see a man who loved without bias, who exemplified perfection in humility, who held no political agenda, who spoke out against the self righteous calling them hypocrites.

and my heart becomes sad because so much of our culture and even Christian culture has been overrun with ideas and values that are the opposite of what Christ stood for. John said that anyone who says "I love God," yet hates any of his children is a liar because you can't not love people and still claim to love God. I think we've all been liars for too long and should reclaim the truth and the ideals Jesus spoke of and died for. I know this all sort of random and harsh, but the Lord put it on my heart today.
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on a much lighter note, I can't tell you how pumped I am about the game. all day I've had nervous stomach (I know I'm a dork) but I think it is because it is just now hitting me how big a game tonight is. and I don't know why I want the Horns to win more; to kill all the "USC is god" lovely dovey mushy crap, or because they're my team. as my good friend Austin stated the Horns just have seemed like a team of destiny all year. I really think their time has come.
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pic of the day:

welp...

2006-01-02T15:35:00.000-06:00

i've got one year under my belt. feels pretty good and boy did it go by fast. now only like 45 more until i can "retire"...

year one was full of change. my surroundings changed. i changed jobs/titles. where i live, what my day looks like. my body changed (just kidding, that was puberty), but i did get older and slower. the people i see and talk to the most changed. my faith, perception of ministry, and relationship with the Lord--all different today than a year ago.

i'm so grateful though for all this change. for the tweaking and revamping God's Spirit did in my life. for the new experiences and all i learned from them. i'm even thankful for my mistakes, difficulties, and failures. for through them the Lord has taught me to trust, to be still, patience and sincerety. i'm not gonna lie, freshman year of the real world was tough. but i wouldn't trade it for anything and i'm looking forward to being a sophomore.

as i move into this year the overwhelming feeling in my heart is that i need more. more Jesus. more love, compassion, and kindness. more stillness. more devotion. i want more of the Lord--to know and experience Him in new ways. to feel a great sense of intimacy with my Savior and a more humble spirit. i want to live with his energy and passion each day and to be more humble. to cling to truth while i sharing it authentically. less me more He. the Lord is faithful and i'm pumped. yeehaw!
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pic of the day, UYG reunion:

Back in the Saddle

2005-12-28T16:16:00.000-06:00

i returned last night from spending 6 very full days with people i absolutely love. Christmas was wonderful, a special one that will stand out in my memories. some quick peaks of the week:

-2 rounds of golf with the Blair boys (don't worry, we won't be turning pro any time soon).
-half a day in the peaceful setting of my aunt and uncle's ranch.
-not really eating distinct "meals" but instead perusing through the ample selection of holiday food in the kitchen between football games or naps.
-watching my 2-year-old cousin Lily "shake it."
-Christmas morning service at University alongside both my real family and my spiritual family.
-the UYG reunion party--SO much fun.
-spending time with Madison.
-doing a lot of nothing.

hooray for holidays! though it was really hard to leave my family in Abilene yesterday, having a community of people here who love me makes it eaier to make the drive back. i want to expound more on these special people but am pretty tired right now so it will have to wait. take hope, share it, and be blessed today.
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pic of the day, Madison:

...love people

2005-12-21T12:40:00.000-06:00

happy birthday mize...i used two of your pictures today...i love this one...
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there is so much that can be said about loving people. more than can be listed or understood. i've heard Jesus' words many times before concerning the greatest commands, to love God and love your neighbor. last month i was reading through the sermon on the mount when i got stuck on the part where Christ talks about murder. in short, Jesus basically said not to hate people and before you offer your gift you should settle matters with your brother (pretty interesting take on murder). a simple message, but one with profound implication.

it was then that something clicked, and i began to really understand and see that Jesus was way more concerned about people than anything else. he was always talking to them, walking with them, eating, fishing, traveling, praying with people. his ministry was people, not planning services or checking off regulations. and his message, his life, was love. and his love for people was specific and beautiful. a kind word to a beggar, or new life for a little girl. truth spoken to a woman caught in sin, or even mud placed gently on blind eyes. words of compassion and hope, an example of selflessness and sacrifice.

i know this isn't anything ground breaking here, but i can't begin to describe all the ways this realization has refreshed my life in the past month. i've felt energized and more committed to love people.

everywhere you look there's people to love. a waitress at chili's, the check-out person at wal-mart, the guy running on the treadmill at the gym, the family in the trailer park down the street. something i've learned is that it's never wrong to love someone. expressing God's love to people is what we were created to do. love changes lives.

Lord, fill me with your love so that i may love people the way Jesus did, constantly and completely.
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i'm going home today to be with my family. merry Christmas...
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pic of the day, little sweeties from Smena:

love God...

2005-12-19T15:04:00.000-06:00

happy birthday yesterday to clay, today to zach, and anniversary tomorrow to austin and cass!
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the greatest commandment. number one. top of the totem pole. the all encompassing point of my life. to love God...

as i stated early i am becoming obsessed with the concept of love. but how do i love someone/something that is the living definition of love? someone/thing that is enormously bigger than the love i am expressing? a really smart dude once said that the easiest thing in the world to do is to love God, and i suppose there are times when i agree with this. but on the other hand sometimes i've wondered just how easy it is, because it doesn't always feel super easy.

what i do know is this. i know that i was created with the capacity to love Him, otherwise he wouldn't command it. i know that the only thing i want to do, and do well, is love. i know that the deepest desires of my heart have to do with pleasing my Creator, with passionately and even foolishly loving my Father in heaven.

and when i begin to ponder and dwell in His love; the love that He constantly pours into my life; then my task evolves into something more. the greatest command becomes pure and almost effortless. not some burden but a force pushing my life ahead. but a natural response to the greatest form of love in existence--God's love for me.

and that's why i think the key to loving God is to first accept, truly accept and know, his love for me. for his love compels and empowers me to love him back and to keep loving him regardless of my circumstance.
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pic of the day, work shoes:

different strokes, for different folks

2005-12-15T10:46:00.000-06:00

i had a wonderful pre-holiday vacation. friday night got to see brent, linds, rosalyn, mize and zach graduate. after the ceremony everyone and their parents convened on the perry's house. it was so refreshing to be in the company of people i love and am loved by. i drank 3 cups of wassle...mmm, yummy. oh, and brent and linds got engaged that night too! i am very happy for them and can't wait for the wedding weekend!

skiing was fantastic, with our last day (monday) being the best day on the slopes i've ever experienced. cool place to stay (hopefully pics to come soon), the beautiful san jaun mountains, some funny guys, and ample time to relax and reflect--a great escape for me. i've got a couple of good stories and pics that i'll share soon. oh, and i did randomly run into some fellow wildcats at wolf creek--josh lankford (with his family) and alex "axel" rose (scary, i know).
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it was great to be with my kids last night at church. they give me so much energy and i love the relationship we have. hugs, funny stories, random comments, and laughter highlighted the night. several of our former GCOCers were home from college last night which was great. i'm looking forward to spending time with these lovely people over their break.

last night after church Chad and i went to see King Kong. it was super intense and exceeded my expectations--in a word, awesome. warning though, there are some scenes with giant "bugs" that made sink down low in my seat and cover my eyes. i HATE bugs, but props to pete jackson for the chair-gripping special effects, unbelievable.
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pic of the day (i'm so tough):

Skiing!!!!

2005-12-09T10:34:00.000-06:00

tonight clay and i will be in Abilene to watch some very special friends (Rosalyn, Mize, Linds, Brent, Zach, Bingo, etc) graduate--hooray!

then tomorrow we're leaving for Wolf Creek with Kyle, Zach, JB, Adam, Alex, and Lucas to ski for a few days!!! i'm SO excited and will share some pics when we return...

Prayers

2005-12-07T15:33:00.000-06:00

i have to share this. every week a minister from my home congregation sends out an email of prayer requests. not to make light of any other prayer requests, but these are special. they are special because they come from poor and hurting people in the world. those marginalized by society. people who are homeless, on welfare, have been imprisoned, substance abusers, and so on. they are people, like you and me, who are looking for answers, longing for hope, and desiring love. every week these requests (transcribed as originally written) touch my heart. pause and honor these precious requests:

Valarie - Lord help me with all my needs, and to havemy kids walk in the right path. Also lord give mestreanght. And keep us away from evil.

Laura - Self clean & sober

Marian - Please pray for peace & reconciliationbetween me and my husband. In the precious name ofJesus. This I pray.

Clarence - For a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Sid - for a better world and good will toward all ofmankind and exspieally for children

William - Financial, marriage problems, wife's health.Get a refrigerator

Tammy - To watch over my family & friends and to guideus all to make the right choices.

Jackie - For safety of my family. Help me get my SSI started. (Supplemental Security Income, i.e.disability)

Samantha - Pray for God to help our marriage

Tonya - please pray for my oldes son to come homesafely and quickly (Texas Youth Commission ) andfor the lord to whach over him and the reast of thefamily

Betty - For good healt for all of us in the household.

Maria - Health & needsRamona - I would like to request that my mother beplaced on a prayer list. Her husband died on November18, 2005

Paige - Kids, getting a job, not going back to prison,CPS (Child Protective Services), finances . . .(staying at a halfway house)

Trisha - Family & babys health

Tessa - Please pray for our families and the world andthose in need like us

Jerry - That my kids will have a safe trip to theirmother's & back over Christmas break.

Randy - For the right job best for me, pray that Iwill stay strong in the Lord pray God's protectionover my household. And that I will get married ASAP.Thank you. God bless you.

Jennie - Pray for husband's salvation. His brother waskilled in an accident & he's angry at God. He is verysick physically.

Matilda - My husband tryied to kill me in front of mykids I moved from Amarillo to Abilene. I don't haveany thang. I have four kids and am a single parent. Iam only 23 yrs. Im so confused I really need all theprayer I can get. Thanks

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has annointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor. --Jesus
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pic of the day:

Love actually, is all around

2005-12-01T16:08:00.000-06:00

december is here, hooray!
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lately i have been obsessing over love. and not really any particular part of love, but the entire concept of love. seeking to understand it. striving to share it. looking to receive it. asking God what it looks like and how it feels. where does it come from? how can i give more of it? there are so many layers, so many pieces, so many levels, types, functions, descriptions, avenues of love. love is an emotion. it is a gift. an action. a secret. a mystery. God. it changes lives and transforms our existence. it is more than a word, and no combination of them can possibly encompass all it is. yet i still want to wrap my brain around it; let it fill dwell inside of me; allow it to fill up inch of my being.

for lack of a better word, i l-o-v-e love, even though i feel i know so little of it. i'll probably be writing a great deal about love here in the coming weeks. and not because i'm in love or know all about it (i don't). not because i'm desperate for a signifcant other or because i'm cheezy. but because God is love. because Jesus loved completely. because of men like Paul and John. because people need love, and because i was created to love.

(for the record, i love the movie quoted in the title)
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pic of the day, Mexico:

Yes

2005-11-30T15:11:00.000-06:00

a lady from church came to visit us at the office yesterday. she is around my mom's age and has been battling cancer for almost a year. two weeks ago she returned to teach her second graders half time after completing all her cemo. life seems to be on the up and up for her and she had an epiphany she wanted to share with us. you see 3 months ago the future was not looking so bright for this extraordinary woman. the chemotherapy had made her very sick. she was depressed, angry, impatient, and felt dead. a typical persona of your average cancer patient.

it was in the midst of that dark valley that this thought hit her: she had yet to thank God for her cancer. what?? (i thought as my heart sank in my chest) she had actually expressed gratitude to our Creator for this awful disease that had ravaged her physically and emotionally for almost a year. she was grateful. and she meant it. incredible

Paul's words in Ephesians to always give thanks to God for everything had struck a cord with her. (easier said than done, right). but she was serious, and you could see it her face. she let us know that she and her husband were closer than they had ever been. that her 25 year old daughter had matured greatly in the past year. that because of her cancer extended members of her family, who in the past had been distant from one another, had been brought together and talk on a daily basis. she said she had experienced true friendship like never before. her faith has been stretched and her prayer life awakened. every morning she wakes up and thanks God for this horrible affliction and for the ways he is working through it. what an amazing story of faith.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ.

i pray for faith like hers. to see all my circumstances as yes's. to always trust and continually give thanks for everything. everything.
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pic of the day, our HS kids at Zenith last summer:

Highlights

2005-11-28T17:12:00.000-06:00

i took a sabatical from blogging the past week and a half and a lot has happened. here are some of the highlights of my 5 days in abilene for thanksgiving:

--laying on my parent's couch for hours at a time
--hugging my mom and dad
--dump cake
--watching hours upon hours of football with dad, kyle, and matty
--playing old school wheel of fortune with madison and rosalyn (i was vanna white)
--listening to the sweet comotion of laughter and stories produced by 20+ family members in one house
--playing on the floor with 1 and 2 year old cousins i haven't seen in a year
--rebuilding madison's swing set in the backyard...not
--UT's escape of the aggies (we won't mention the cowboys)
--box office, little panda, university church, cahoot's
--watching 5 back to back episodes of the OC season 1 (it's addicting)
--driving home from the a-high game (a.k.a. southlake practice) with kyle, jessica, zach, and rosalyn
--being humbly reminded of my age as i played...er, participated in basketball with kyle and his college friends
--more dump cake
--being with people i love

what a wonderful holiday. the Lord is SO good--bring on Christmas!
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pic of the day (my little friends EJ, Xavier, and Cameron who are returning to a brand new home in New Orleans this week):

Just Admit It

2005-11-16T16:02:00.000-06:00

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes apart
Everything is torn apart
And that's the hardest part --Chris Martin's The Hardest Part

These are the closing lines from my new favorite Coldplay song that got me thinking.

I am unspiritual. --the Apostle Paul, who wrote half the New Testament

Then those three words hit me hard when I read them in Romans 7. Partly because of who wrote them (maybe the most passionate follower of Jesus ever), but also because that is how I often feel. Unspiritual, inadequate, lacking, deficient, defective, poor, incompetent, not perfect. But don't you love God--of course I do. Aren't you a "minister"--yes, last I checked. Haven't you been spiritually and materially blessed--for sure. But I don't at all think that means I can't feel like this. After all I'm human, just as Paul was. Everyone has to feel this way sometimes. Admitting this isn't easy, but the perspective it brings is healthy.

And I've found that out of this acknowledgement comes freedom and life. Freedom from fear and isolation and life the way Christ intended it to be, full and satisfying. What I mean is, when I recognize that I am weak, completely and utterly weak, only then I can truly understand the enormouse scope of what Christ has done for me. How he has rescued my life from the pit of death, one that is too deep for me to begin to crawl out of. Jesus is my superhero: he's heard my damsel's helpless cry, defeated the enemy, and saved my life. His power is demonstrated (and made perfect) in my weakness. So why would I deny that I am terribly weak. Why would I refute the truth that sets his wonderful working grace in motion. I hate that so much is made in the world of what I am capable of; individualism, me me me, be all that you can be, all mark our culture. How great it is though to know that my worth is found in him; that my future depends on his faithfulness; that in spite of my flaws God can use me for the extraordinary. For what I am not, Christ is. Thank you Lord for the amazing story and power that is Jesus.
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pic of the day, from Mize: